fading

Fading slowly, fading fast.
Freedom, freedom, here at last.
Fading slowly, fading fast.
Freedom, freedom such a blast.
But wait...
Just one moment...
an unexpected turn...
just waiting now to crash and burn.

Breathe in.
Breathe deep.
The ship's begun to sink...
overboard you go...to the depths below.

Fading slowly, fading fast.
Why does the freedom never last?
Regrets and failures plague the mind,
Rotting a person from deep inside.
Expectations run rampant, yet the heart remains vacant...
Fading slowly, fading fast.

Thousands of questions long to know why
Why, oh why, do I ever try?
Inadequate, worthless, lonely, and still...
You lovingly hold me and calm the greatest chills.
God my God, why must this torrent rage?
Can I truly weather the storm?
Or will I fail in shame?

Purpose and process...
My heartbeat at last.
Wonder when someone will just think to ask.
How are you? Where are you?
Can I know you a bit more?
Oh friend, dear friend, we have much in store.

Created for relationship, yet alone in a crowd.
Heart full of love covered in a cloud.
Light and darkness fighting ever so hard...
to determine whose side you shall walk upon.

Aching, breaking, crying and still...
Mended, yes mended, Your Word in me stills...
the greatest of pains in this strange heart of mine...
the deepest of wounds that once chained me like a vine...
the driest of seasons where my thirst could not be quenched...
the place in my soul that so often felt wrenched.

Restore, restore...quickly Lord come!
The fountain is waiting...Your life water and blood.
Teach me Your ways, that I might know and do...
No longer fading...but rather made new.