grief

Never has a week been so bogged down with overwhelming news of defeat and struggle.
The body of Christ at Bethany is wounded...
My heart is grieved for those who are struggling.
The enemy gained a foothold and has capitalized on it.
Our campus is struggling.
My heart is overwhelmed with the events and reality of the past week.
Never have I wept so painstakingly for the hurt of someone else.
What is it like to feel pained and broken for someone in the body of Christ caught in sin? It is sickening. It makes you nauseous, unable to function and work, exhausted, broken...and thankful.
We have been praying for God's holiness to consume this campus, and indeed God is at work...but the enemy is a prowling lion seeking to kill and destroy.
He destroys innocence, perverts beauty, distorts perceptions, and creates apathy.



If you think to this week please keep our campus and the family of Christ here in your prayers. Pray that God will bring healing, restoration and will make this place Holy and set apart for his work and glory. When the body of Christ hurts, we all hurt..when the body of Christ is wounded, we are wounded too. Don't forget that! We so often do...

As I write I am listening to a song by David Crowder entitied "Wholly Yours" - the words seem rather appropriate:

I am full of earth
You are heaven’s worth
I am stained with dirt, prone to depravity
You are everything that is bright and clean
The antonym of me
You are divinity
But a certain sign of grace is this
From a broken earth flowers come up
Pushing through the dirt

You are holy, holy, holy
All heaven cries “Holy, holy God”
You are holy, holy, holy
I wanna be holy like You are

You are everything that is bright and clean
And You’re covering me with Your majesty
And the truest sign of grace was this
From wounded hands redemption fell down
Liberating man

You are holy, holy, holy
All heaven cries “Holy, holy God”
You are holy, holy, holy
I want to be holy like You are

But the harder I try the more clearly can I feel
The depth of our fall and the weight of it all
And so this might could be the most impossible thing
Your grandness in me making me clean

Glory, hallelujah
Glory, glory, hallelujah
You are holy, holy, holy
All heaven cries “Holy, holy God”
You are holy, holy, holy
I want to be holy, holy God

So here I am, all of me
Finally everything
Wholly, wholly, wholly
I am wholly, wholly, wholly
I am wholly, wholly, wholly Yours

I am wholly Yours

I am full of earth and dirt and You

flash back to 2nd grade

Today I dressed like "fall" and several people said I looked very cute. Looking cute somehow becomes a foreign concept when you are 20 years old...and it made me chuckle as I had flashbacks of 2nd grade...and how no matter the years that pass by,boys still think we're cute when we wear braids or "pig tails" as they may call them.



Some days it's just nice to simply be...to laugh, joy, and remember 2nd grade.

20

20 years of life have I, 20 years of life.
I had an amazing date with the Lord tonight and as we shared a birthday supper, I came across a journal entry that caught my attention from early in September.

" Unto You oh God, I give my life.
Before You, I recognize this no small sacrifice,
For all You ask of me, is to faint with longing for Thee.
As I follow the call, the world seems quite small,
For inspite of my fears, I know You are near.
You whispr Your Word in the depts of my being -
a longing arises from within my soul-
I recognize you alone must control -
every hope, desire, and dream from above.
Your joy is my strength -
my weakness, Your glory.

Soft whispers of love dance upon the wind. Leaves rustle as the season prepares to begin. To everything there is a season - though sometimes we fail to see - a purpose amongst the lessons, the trials and the change. Father help me embrace Thee with all that I am - abandoned to the world - a warrior of the King. My destiny's uncertain, though I know it's in Your hands - I can't help wonder, if somehow I'll understand.

Dance sweet whispers of love on the wind - remind all God's children of the life He's placed within,

How silently, how silently - I long to hear Your voice - it seems that at this moment I have no other choice. I surrender all my time and resources - to allow Your work in full - to penetrate the deepest parts of all I am for Your glory.

"Behold, I make all things new. Christy just hold on - "

Quietly I wait for Thee - Long I long for You - to see.
To crawl in Your lap, see the world through Your eyes -
with a child like faith, to learn of You - to know You -
to grow in Your likeness and to reflect Your glory. "

* I am thankful for a God who loves me. All glory, honor, and praise to the One who has granted me life and breath for these 20 adventurous years and who will continue for His determined amount of time to grow me more into His likeness.

hearts cry

"Great is Thy faithfulness Oh God my Father..."
"Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus...just to take Him at His word, and to rest upon His promise, just to know thus saith the Lord..."

Who can measure Your promises?
Who can compare to Your vastness?
None has such majesty as You!

This month Lord, wreck me of all I am.
May I find myself before Thee on my face...humble me before you that I may increase in faith and obedience to You.
Tune my ears to hear Your voice alone.
May the cry of my heart be to know You more.
I want to know You Lord!

Change me God!

"O praise the One who paid my debt, who raised His life up from the dead..."