obedience...really?

As a young woman after God's heart, desiring evermore to please Him and bring glory to His name in all I do...I have been challenged in obedience. All the time I say "Yes Lord, I will follow you wherever you lead. Yes Lord, send me and I will go. I will do anything for you Lord." It is interesting how we sometimes pray away God's voice. Some people may have strange faces thinking about this thought...but what I mean is sometimes when the Lord tries to speak to us, we assume that gives us automatic right to pray about it when sometimes all we really do is cut Him off from speaking more.

Last night I was faced with a very big decision. God spoke and I had a choice. I could obey and experience His peace that surpasses all understanding or I could walk away and pretend I hadn't heard. Well God has a hold of my heart so the latter was simply not an option. This broke me. "How God? I can't do this. How?" I begged. God answered "Fear not my child, I'm with you always, I know every thought and every tear I see. Fear not my child, I'm with you always, I know how to care for what belongs to me."

I spent a lengthy time in His word. A few hours later I did the unthinkable, and God was right, "fear not my child, I'm with you always..." Returning from this emotional and heart wrenching moment, I felt at peace and puzzled by the joy which had overcome me. I spent some more time in His word and journaling and this old song came to me which I sang in an act of worship:

" I cry out for your hands of mercy to heal me. I am weak. I need your love to free me. Oh Lord, my Rock. You're my strength in weakness. Come rescue me, Oh Lord. You are my hope, and your promise never fails me. And my desire, is to follow you forever--for you are good, for you are good, for you are good to me, for you are good, for you are good, for you are good to me..."

This morning I awoke overcome with His joy and His peace. Then He assured me with the unthinkable. He had cleared the way for this situation to be mended and completed once again. "What Lord? Not even 1 day?" I asked. "I know how to care for what belongs to me." He responded.

God revealed Himself to me and brought me to a place of intimacy I have been missing and lacking since I got on campus. He has restored my heart and shown me that He alone is the King of my heart. His promises never fail.

All I can say is God is good and now I await the next step, I await His perfect timing and hand of grace to cover us once again.

Be blessed today beloved friends!