unplanned time

Following the daily tasks of seminar and some very draining group work time, I approached my evening with a pinch of dread in my heart...I did not want to spend this rainy evening alone, in my room, doing absolutely nothing. Deciding to be obedient to an earlier prompting, I requested the company of a couple of friends on campus...whom considering certain circumstances could have easily declined my company, but since they accepted, we spent the next hour of our time playing cards.

Following cards, I was surprised to watch the Lord take over the delegation of my time spent this evening. A visitor appeared in my doorway desiring to talk and we engaged in an interesting, indepth conversation, better described as a heart-to-heart for the next hour or so and I was then invited to join a small group at Tim's for a time. We waltzed down the rainy hill to hot drinks and timbits galore...only deciding on our way back up the hill that this friend and I would bond once more over cookie making...our kitchen adventure turned once more into a 2 hour conversation, which I was very blessed and sweetly surprised by.

I'm thankful I was unable to be the delegate of my time and so grateful the Lord provided the opportunity to talk about Him, life cirumstances and plans, and to hear this young sister's heart to grasp a greater understanding of where she's at currently. I was grately blessed by these surprise conversations and the complete depletion of my assumed "free" evening. I love how the Lord turned a potentially empty, lonely evening into a chance to talk, listen, laugh, and bond with someone on a heart level and understanding that was very much needed in light of current situations and circumstances.

I recognize this post is rather vague, but I encourage you to allow the Lord to be the steward of your time for a change...it was the best choice I could have possibly made all evening. Bless the Lord for His mindfulness and involvement in even the smallest of things in our lives.

Beautiful

I've been thinking lately about what it means to be secure in the Lord, to really know who I am in Christ and to be satisfied with that, but available to constantly be changed. I was exercising yesterday morning in the lounge after a nice jog and one of the ladies had left the tv on the music channel. This song came on by Bethany Dillon and caught my attention...I want to be beautiful, to know that who I am is quite enough.

I love the last verse of this song. It truly speaks of who Christ should be in our lives...He makes us beautiful, worthy of love, and assures us we are quite enough...we are fearfully and wonderfully His. He makes me feel beautiful...I am amazed as He lives in my heart and daily stretches me beyond the capacities I have in and of myself.

I've come across a quote a few times in the past week:
"A woman's heart should be so close to God - a man must seek God to find it." Seek Him...chase Him...let Him define your beauty and reign as King of your heart...my beloved sisters in Christ, trust as you draw near to God, the one He's created to be your match must seek Him to find your heart...let Christ be your standard!

"Beautiful" by: Bethany Dillon

I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it's killing me

Does someone hear my cry?
I'm dying for new life

[Chorus]
I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory

[Chorus]

You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful

a glimpse of what I have been up to in picture form

Athletic Awards Banquet : Received the Female Rookie of the Year Award

Puddle Jumping downtown with Amy, Sheena & Shane.







A beautiful day called for some spontaneity...remembering the good old days of elementary school and middle school...various BBC students gathered together in the parking lot for an hour+ of jumproping/double dutching fun.


Giving credit where credit is due: Shane Grant took the first 6 photos of this post and Zach Schible snapped the jumproping photos! Thanks guys for blessing us with your talent.

a hill run

A fair ways across town rests a hill steep and sound,
A hill that is far, a hill that is long.
This hill is quite challenging, a breath stealer indeed,
To conquer it, you feel as though you've lost all your speed.
Slowly pumping, arms at both sides, your lungs collapse deeply in your chest trying to survive.
Your legs become heavy, weighed down by this mount, but pressing onward, you silently begin to doubt.
A challenge indeed this hill hast provided, a challenge that has frightened away many runners and sidewalk climbers.
Gradually with one final push you find yourself at the top as all the air you'd neglected to breathe rushes to and fro around you. Your lungs become heavy and thick with a strange sting, your legs become bulky as the muscles scream.
My oh my, we have conquered this hill...if I didn't know any better I'd assume it an army drill.
The thing about long hills, stinging lungs and throbbing muscles is the addiction that rises in your running spirit to try it again, to go once more.
Now not just once, or twice..but three times this hill has met it's match and conquered it I have.
Without realizing the impact its made, my legs are secretly becoming stronger, my lungs breathing deeper.

Last week I climbed the bluffs and puzzled by my lack of heavy breathing I pressed my way to the top. I suppose I owe this easy climb to the hill that has so easily consumed my training time. This morning, among the rain clouded sky, I set out to jog and found my heart wandering...a fair way across town, to the hill far and long..up, up, up I went never slowing down. Reaching the top, my heart began to pound. Thundering so loudly, pumping blood into my veins, I felt healthy and fresh, rejuvinated and freed. This time my muscles neglected their uncomfortable bulking and sting, and instead rejoiced as the tension released.

For all who claim to be runners, we know hills are tough. Sometimes we face mountains and fearing the pain, we turn away to a trail more frequently traveled, a softer pathway, an easier climb. I've realized when we match up against the hills, far and long, as we reach the top, a certain victory resounds. Running is relaxing and challenging in the same breath, but hill running, up steep, steep hills is difficult. The more willing I am to reach the top, the easier I find my climbs to be.

Sometimes I feel like a warrior, screaming my battle cry as I charge forth against the steepness of the hill...as I reach the top I feel as though a certain victory has been claimed, a burden lifted, a freedom received.

If you have nothing to do today, go for a run...and if you're feeling adventurous, find a hill, far and long and give it a try!

thankful thought

Lord, thank you for walks in the rain and tea time.
Thank you for laughter and things I cannot quite understand.
Your ways are perfect and your plans for good.
I love that you never run out of surprises.

a lesson

I started reading Joshua in my secret time with the Lord and something about chapter 1:5 strikes at the very depths of my heart. In the final portion of the verse the NLT reads, " I will not fail you or abandon you."

As my life begins a new adventure...everything around me is changing.
As my mind mules over this verse I just feel like Lord reaching out His hand and resting it on my shoulders, lovingly looking into my eyes I feel as though He's saying, " Beloved I will not fail you. I will not abandon you."

I had a lovely lunch Saturday afternoon with my parents. They shared their hearts about the issues I've been faced with lately in my life and their desire to learn who I am becoming. They claimed they have recognized a change in me and though they've recognized it as good, they don't fully know me and I suppose for parents that is a scary revelation...your baby girl is all grown up and though you understand that, it takes a little while to learn about her. Distance can be a silly little thing and it has hindered my parents ability to witness first hand the changes in my life and process leading me to where I'm at right now.

My mom mentioned something at the table that really settled deep in my mind. She shared her observations of how I'd somehow become a timid, quiet, enclosed person and had basically been bogged down with the world. Sadly this "world" consisted of one very big deal relationship. People all around me spoke words declaring it as what was meant to be and the surety of it leading to marriage...and my heart closed down somewhere between the spring and summer of last year...however, believing something was terribly wrong with me as everyone around me plunged full force ahead, I pressed on as well. I found myself closing off, enrapturing myself in this relationship and losing myself. As my mom said, I disappeared...she basically lost her daughter...and had flags flashing up quite often about the situation. I had niavely, in my young 17-18 year old mind followed the philosophy of this older man that "time = feelings" and " if you act like you are feeling something, eventually you will." He was right in a sense...sometimes. I don't remember exactly when I stopped "feeling it", but in all honesty, it has been awhile.

Unfortunately, I relied on people, who, unlike the Lord, fail you. I never stepped back to question where I was at...what I was feeling. I just went with the flow, miserably at times, putting on a pretty face and feeling as though I'd let everyone down if I ended the situation. Then one day it hit me and I began to question, I began to pray with a fervency and deep need of direction. God enraptured me in His peace and love....he provided good Christian fellowship and once again came through with His promise to never fail me or abandon me. He stuck through with me and though he never spoke a yes or no, I asked for Him to speak through me and He brought his peace in ending the relationship.

Here I sit just over a month after ending a relationship I nearly lost my entire identity to...and I am resting in such peace. God has captured my heart in such a way, I can hardly begin to describe it in words. Every day is an adventure. His word is alive and real. My heart is at rest. A heaviness I have walked with for over a year now is gone.

As I walk forward and the days pass...this promise stirs my heart. "Beloved, I will not fail you, I will not abandon you." God is so good!

He lives!

Happy Easter everyone!
Take some time to remember the reason we recognize this day.
Christ is risen. He is alive!
He conquered death to pay the debt of our sins.
I am so unworthy and so blessed.

The lyrics of this song "He Lives" are powerful.
Blessings to you on this day! God be with you!



More than a Baby in a manger
To whom nobles would humbly bow their knee
Or the young Man heaven knew as Savior
He is alive in me
More than the Man who walked on water
Or the One who cause blinded eyes to see
Greater than all the signs and wonders
He is alive in me

He lives He lives
Conquered the grave and covered our sins
He lives He lives
Death couldn't hold the promise within
He lives

More than a Man who heard hosanna
From the same who cried crucify the King
Freely He gave as they demanded
Yet still He's alive in me
More than the Man mankind rejected
With nails in His hands and through His feet
The end told much more than they expected
For everyone knows in three days He rose
With power forever to redeem you and me

Death where is your sting
He's alive
Grave your victory
He's alive
Jesus holds the keys He reigns
He reigns forever and ever

thinking

I found this quote on a friend's blog and it's really got me thinking:

"There is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existence over which Christ, who is Sovereign over all, does not cry, ‘Mine!’”-Abraham Kuyper