internship reflection (part 3)

Looking back, my thought process during this journey was somewhat like a roller coaster. I swept around corners and was launched down deep drop-offs until finally I reached the straight away at the finish where no amount of nausea could overcome the humor I had found in the ride, or the smile that rested not only upon my face, but deep in my heart. During this internship, God has truly changed the way I think.

One of the cognitive objectives for internship is “to develop the reflective skills to think analytically about a variety of ministry situations”. I believe this statement rings true of my experience with one simple exception, I believe the statement has taken route in my life on a much broader scale, encompassing all aspects of my life woven together – with ministry as a lifestyle, not merely a job or given situation – but a fulltime way of life. As mentioned earlier, ministry has become my heartbeat – or rather, I have discovered it has always been my heartbeat, but now, through this season of internship, and the beautiful opportunities I was given, I have been able to see this part of my life unveiled.

A challenge now lies before me – to go, to serve, and to love. I never imagined I would absorb or encounter all the things I did while I was in Georgia. Every emotion, feeling, and thought I could possibly muster played a part in this ‘roller coaster’ journey. Some days it was an elating experience. Some days it was a mind boggling experience. Some days it was a treacherous and heartbreaking experience. Some days it made me sick and I wanted nothing more than to get away. Other days it made me hungry for more or left me dizzy and confused. Still other days it was downright exhausting, but most days, it was simply blessed.

Ministry is servant hood, and through this experience I have learned a lot about the importance of being flexible, and what it looks like to put others first. Honestly, this practice of putting others first is not always a fun or immediately pleasant experience, but in the end it is always very rewarding and saturated with opportunity to learn and grow. Once we become more practiced and familiar with this way of living, we begin to reap the immediate rewards because we don’t expect some grand display of satisfaction – simplicity begins to capture and delight our hearts, and as we watch others being blessed through our simple, imperfect, but wholehearted efforts, we too are blessed.

Another behavioral objective involved the idea of integrating worthwhile questions into daily conversation, basically as part of the natural flow of things. I find myself asking more intentional, useful questions, rather than simply trying to get something accomplished. I feel like I have somehow become an undercover investigator, searching adamantly for clues and important information to move forward in my life mission. If we refuse to ask questions and stick around to listen to the answers, we deny ourselves the invaluable opportunity of sifting through thoughts, perspectives, information, opinions, and even various theses.

I truly feel as though I “came into my own” over these last several months – that despite moments of loneliness and lacking fellowship, that I learned of a love much greater and intense available to me in a special way – Christ’s love. I feel as though the various opportunities I was given to assist with several ministries reminded me that we must be intentional in doing Kingdom work, and must not settle for anything less than what our heart’s potential can give.

I was exposed to varying age groups, genders, family conditions, and even religious denominations. In the South, everyone “knows Jesus”, though sadly because people seem to know Him everywhere, no one seems to care about having a relationship with Him. It was strange to move from a very cold, semi-closed climate to the Gospel, to one that was very accepting, yet unfruitful. Granted, this is not always the case, but living in an environment where the seed fell on soft ground, and grew up quickly; only to die, was a little discouraging.

This is an essential understanding to have in ministry down south – especially in regards to planting churches or even becoming part of a certain congregation. If one was to lose sight of the ultimate goal: pointing people to a living, real, intimate relationship with Christ, they would certainly be in danger of getting ‘lost in the church’. That certainly sounds like an oxymoron, yet many people week after week, trudge like prisoners, or creatures of habit to their familiar cushioned seats, in the familiar row, near strange people, and remain ‘ lost in the church’. This is often only the case with people who are still willing to go to church.

As a result of the flippant use of the term “Christian” in the south, many people do not even have to attend or even practice any form of Christian service or lifestyle to claim the title. If they attended any revival meeting and wrote down a date and time in the back of their Bible, that is all the proof they need that their eternity is secure and they are good to go. Unfortunately this has made many people closed to the True Gospel of Christ because when people claim to be Christians but live the opposite it is more destructive that rewarding. Many people are often hurt, confused, or even distracted in the process.

I quickly discovered during my learning experience, that the more intentional you are about getting into the community and learning to deal with people, the more receptive they are to Christ. Consistency is key in any form of ministry. If you are going to feed the homeless one Thursday evening, don’t make it a “one hit wonder” sort of deal. Consistency builds relationships – trust – rapport – and eventually heart connections. Do a food night every Thursday, build upon it and expose people to the living, active Word, through your conduct, your humility, your actions, your generosity, your joy, and peace.

I have come to see, it is equally as important that you remember these people outside of ‘food night’ outreaches. If you happen to wander to that same part of town on another day, there is absolutely no excuse as a message bearer of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to ignore, cold shoulder, or flee from these people. They are no different than they were on any given Thursday night, and neither should you be. They are equally as unworthy of Christ’s love as we are, and they deserve just as much of an opportunity to know Him in relationship, and to receive His gift of eternal life!

The revelation that church is to be an organic, relational, growing experience was greatly affirmed during my six months in Georgia. I quickly found, the prettier the building, the uglier the people – the uglier the building, the more genuine the people. Why is that? I can boil it down to only on thing – Pride! Pride takes beautiful things and makes them ugly because of twisted perspectives. Pride takes generosity and generates selfishness. Pride takes consistency and creates entitlement. Pride takes love and creates hate or prejudice. Pride takes a gift and demands better.

I am reminded of what James says in his epistle regarding religion that “pure and undefiled religion is this, to care for the widows and the orphans in their need” (James 1:27). No matter what form or aspect of ministry we are involved in – ultimately, we are all called to be the Church – the Bride of Christ – and we are called not to sift through people we believe worthy of receiving our love, energy, resources, or time, but to give freely just as we have received freely of all Christ has offered to us.