stillness and waiting

Recently I've been swamped with the passage in John 15 that speaks of Jesus being the vine while we are the branches. This passage also says that the vine will prune off any branches that are not producing fruit, and promises that if we remain in Him, and His words remain in us we can ask anything and trust it to be granted. I'm overcome as I glance at verse 16 which says, " You didn't choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name."

My heart has been breaking and there are many inexplainable "unknowns" in my life at the moment such as: What's next? When will I know? Where am I to go? Who? Will this really be an opportunity? Are you closing these doors? Do you want me to step by faith into this? etc.

As part of the PLC ( a discipleship group on campus that also has a scholarship aspect tied to it) we were challenged to make a covenant with the Lord during corp camp in Cape Breton. Part of my covenant with the Lord was to steal away, intentionally once a month for a date with Him. I felt led to choose the 13th of the month because eventually it will fall upon my birthday and I can't imagine better company to spend your birthday with than the very one who knit you together in your mother's womb and carried you out on your special arrival day. He created me, has grown me, continues to stretch and change me more into His likeness and regardless of how far I am from who He's made me to be, He still loves me, is mindful of me, and desires an intimate, fellowshipping, absolute relationship with me. The God of the universe somehow takes delight in me, as small, weak and frail as I am and empowers me by His grace and Spirit to do work for His Kingdom! How amazing, eh?

I realize I got a little sidetracked in talking about the Lord in the above paragraph, but the point of my sharing that aspect of my covenant for this year is to offer a testimony of praise for the date we had yesterday. Uncertain of where to go I felt led to a small picnic bench on the far side of campus. I carried my Bible, water, crayons, a coloring book and nailpolish. I sat in the sun painting my nails and enjoying the soft breeze kissing my face. Next I spent some time coloring and pondering the Lord's creativity and how neat it is that He's fashioned us with desires and talents to be creative and to express His creativity through us. In closing I spent some time reflecting on Psalm 27.

Verse 14 stuck out and encouraged my heart. It reads, "14 Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord."

This is where my life is at right now. I'm waiting...I'm trying to be patient, and I'm finding rest and challenge in the stillness.

In closing, Here are the words to a verse I was inspired to write to the tune, My Jesus I Love Thee :

With all things uncertain, my life in Your hands.
The path that You've woven, I choose to asend.
My Jesus You chose me. You called on my name.
And now I will follow - in joy or in pain.
-Christy L. Zbylut