beautiful-panic

It's Wednesday morning, first day back on campus after the long weekend for Canadian Thanksgiving. I am startled awake suddenly and in a rather unusual act I find myself leaning over my bunk to catch the time on my roomate's alarm clock. The glaring blue numbers send alarm pulsing through my entire body: 7:54am.

I never sleep this late!

Instantly my mind is flaring "chapel day? wait no, no Bib.Lit! Why didn't my alarm go off?! I've never done this before. What is wrong with me? Oh nooooo!!!!! Bib Lit!!! Bib Lit at 8:00!!!"

I jump out of bed, grab a pair of jeans, toss on a t-shirt, throw my hair in a pony tail, toss a piece of gum in my mouth (no time to brush), stumble around for contacts (I might be almost late, but under no circumstances do I feel like wearing my glasses). Dashing to the far side of my bedroom, I toss my planner into my book bag (my books had all been packed the night before). Throwing on a pair of crocs I dash out the door. Flying across the campus, my feet perhaps touched the cement a total of 5 times, I was booking it. I waltz into class pretending that everything is perfectly okay and that I did not, under any circumstances wake up 3 minutes ago...slightly annoyed that my stomach is flooded with nausea, I missed my time with the Lord, no breakfast and to make things even better, I was shaking. I don't mean shivering either, I mean just shaking, tremors perhaps, from my sudden awakening.

I am greeted by that charming smile and the voice of my sweetheart saying "good morning beautiful!" Clearly he is unaware that I have no make-up on, forgot a belt for my too big pants, no jewelry, forgot my watch and have done absolutely nothing with my hair. I felt like a sloppy mess....yet he thought I was beautiful.

This experience this morning made me wonder about the standards we hold ourselves to as young women in this country.
Why do we have to experience extremes to carry a mark of beauty?
What exactly is beautiful?
You see this morning I didn't find myself too beautiful. I was hurried, rushed and had placed no effort in my appearance...but what did Chris see...he saw beauty and I think what far overshadowed my outward appearance was that of my insides...the beauty that is in me, the light of Jesus Christ, the joy of Christ, the love and peace and fruits of the Spirit all burst forth from me...overpowering, overtaking, overwhemling any blemishes on freshly awakened skin, any whispys in a 3 second pony tail, any empty ear lobes lacking shiny dangly earrings.

Do you adorn yourself with beauty from the inside out?
Why is it okay to rot on the inside as long as you look nice on the outside?
Why is shining and growing on the inside sometimes not okay with observers who find the outside displeasing?

Ladies, what are your thoughts?
If any men read this blog, I'd admire your contributions as well.

I'm thankful God taught me this lesson of beauty.
He sees me as beautiful.
I am made in His image, His likeness.
I am beloved...