our meeting

Thank you all who offered your prayers for the situation I shared in the last post. I am grateful for your words of encouragement.

This evening that brother in Christ and I met together at Tim Hortons (the place where all serious talks take place, right?) and I shared my heart, asked for forgiveness and shared my desire to glorify Christ in our friendship, whatever that may look like and whatever dynamics it may encompass.

We shared in laughter and caught up on life with small talk.
I'm thankful for this opportunity to grow and change, once again, more into the image of the One who made me, loves me and cares so deeply for me...my Jesus.

God is good and I'm beyond words thankful for all He has in store in both the near and immediate future...I'm ready to keep on growin'...

my awful attitude

It's amazing how sometimes as Christians, we think we're done with a certain issue or circumstance in our lives...until it pops up again, quite unresolved, with the need of deeper more careful resolution.

I thought I was finished with a certain part of my life and to be straighforward and quite honest, the attitude of my heart has gone quite sour toward a certain brother in Christ and I haven't the vaguest idea as to exactly why. All I know is that this evening my Mom called me out on this 'anger' of sorts that has been dwelling in me...and all it took was a few moments of quiet reflection to pin point something my heart has been musing on for awhile...I'm not finished resolving this circumstance...and God is in fact calling me to lay myself down, to cast aside my self pride, to be vulnerable with this person and to glorify God at all costs of myself. The Lord has caused me to realize I am not finished growing in this area of my life and for Him to release me to do things that I both desire in my heart and He's called me to do...order for Him to grow me...I need to let go. I need to deal with this attitude of my heart that has consumed my thoughts and behaviors.

The Scriptures tell us in Matthew 12:34,"out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." Proverbs 23:7 states, "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he." WOW!! Right now that would mean I am essentially acting like an awful person, speaking awful things. It's a scary realization for sure. I have been very selfish and prideful, believing there was no real issue with my attitude at all and that my Mom was just misjudging my attitude. My mouth has not been speaking lately what I want in my heart to reflect, about a certain brother in Christ. A hatred of sorts and disgust really has wedged its way inside of me and I honestly don't know 100% how to deal with it.

I felt prompted to call this individual tonight after church, knowing inside I must first confess my attitude and behaviors, ask for his forgiveness, and somehow be honest about life I guess. I want to figure out what the Lord has in store for the both of us as brother and sister in Christ.

I want more than anything to grow in the Lord...and I know the Lord wants me to grow in Him...because of this I need to lay down this issue, freely of all self pride and let the Lord have His way in me, to cleanse me head to foot in this issue and to recognize that when in fact this issue is dealt with, my growing will never truly stop. I want to claim victory in this area of my life...to walk in freedom with a heart that spills and overflows with an abudance of things that glorify Christ.

I now await a response from this brother and I'm hoping his heart will be willing and open to talking...and listening really to me. I covet your prayers for strength and humility during this time. Also, please pray he returns my call and we are able to talk.

I'm quite thankful to have a conscience and a God who loves me enough to point out the junk in my life that can be only demolished by Him and replaced with things that honor Him.


I enjoyed the sunshine and time for thinking today...

buggies

For anyone who exercises, or finds themself quite joyful outdoors, do you think smiling while you run or bike could result in a lovely collection of bugs on your teeth?

Whenever I go running or biking, bugs always pelt my face, so I wonder...as I find humor and joy outdoors, is it possible I am also collecting a lovely smile full of buggies?

Every once in awhile, I imagine someone returning from an exercise outing and smiling, only to find their teeth speckled with buggies, like the grate of a car. Strange, I know...but what does one think of while they're running and being pelted by bugs?

heart desire

I've been reading several books this summer for PLC and one of the books on the lineup was Hannah Hurnard's book, Hind's Feet on High Places.

This book really made me think and this passage, spoke somewhat of a yearning desire in my own heart, something that's tugged at me through reading this writing in it's entirety:

"Set me as a seal upon thine heart
Thou Love more strong than death
That I may feel through every part
Thy burning, fiery breath.
And then like wax held in the flame,
May take the imprint of thy Name.
Set me a seal upon thine arm,
Thou Love that bursts the grave,
Thy coals of fire can never harm,
But only purge and save.
Thou jealous Love, thou burning Flame,
Oh, burn out all unlike thy Name.

The floods can never drown thy Love,
Not weaken thy desire.
The rains may deluge from above
But never quench thy fire.
Make soft my heart in thy strong flame,
To take the imprint of thy Name."

my last name

I often joke about being the smartest kid in my preschool class - afterall, I had to learn the whole alphabet to spell my name. What do I mean? My last name is Zbylut...Z-B-Y-L-U-T, and as one can clearly observe it begins with a 'Z' or 'Zed' in Canada. My name is very Polish, and very unique. I've lived my whole life at the back of the line, it's just a natural thing for me.

Aside from all this, I'd have to say one of the greatest parts of having a unique last name is how people both attempt to say or spell it. Today, I was reminded once again of my preschool days learning to spell Zbylut.

Arriving home from work, I discovered a package on the kitchen table. It was addressed to my mom, and therefore, had this silly sight not caught my eye, I would have walked away without a second thought. However, what my eyes beheld was quite a humorous sight. In all the 19+ years of life, I've never seen an attempt at our last name go quite so wrong. The package read something to the affect of:
Rita Dbylut
----------
----

For those of you who think I spelled Zbylut wrong above by accidentally pressing D instead of Z, I shall inform you, whomever sent this package, hand wrote our name that way. Dbylut. (Neat!) I chuckled thinking, for sure, this guy takes the cake of poor spellings of our name. It's practically up there with Zibilt, Zibblet, Zyblut,Zoblut, Zibillet, etc.

Dbylut...who knew!? :)

Nicole & Cale's Wedding

Last weekend I had the privilege of taking part as a guest at two dear friend's wedding. Watching their love grow and get stronger over the past year and such has brought my heart great joy and makes me excited to fall in love one day with the person I'll walk down the aisle and greet. The weather was beautiful and the ceremony shined with Christ's glory. God is faithful!

Nicole and Cale, God bless you!

Cool Slideshows!

my 1st cavity

Two weeks ago I went to the dentist a clean toothed young woman. As I left I held an appointment card for today and the voice of Dr. Smith ringing in my head, "Yep, that #13, deep grooves, what a shame, we'll have to drill it."

Apparently I have "deep grooves" in my teeth (lucky me), and the dentist unfortunately discovered a cavity at my last cleaning that most people get when they're much younger. I was told that you either get it in that tooth or don't...apparently once something gets stuck there it's practically impossible to get it out...so I got a cavity. (neat!)

Bear in mind here I've never had any dental work done beyond brushing, flossing, and a number of years ago that gunky bubble gum flavored flouride...I was even spared having my wisdom teeth removed when they decided to disappear (Thank you Lord) when I went to the orthodontist.

When I arrived at the dentist early this morning I had a realization. The feat of some 19 years and 8 months cavity free fades away as you lie reclined in the leathery dentist chair. I wonder, who invented paste that makes your gums go numb? I feel bad for the people who tested the stuff. What a not nice feeling it is to have your mouth droop and 1/2 your throat go numb as the gunk drizzles down. Why does the needle they shove into your gums have to be so big? Is that necessary? Big needles are scary.

I once thought I liked the dentist - now I'm reconsidering. :)

celebrating Independence Day

We celebrated the 4th of July with an annual 'Zbylut family BBQ' at our home. The day with filled with much laughter, socializing, water balloons, yummy cuisine, and sparklers. These photos do not even come close to capturing the enjoyment I took from my afternoon surrounded by family yesterday. I neglected my camera and traded capturing moments on film for conversations with aunts and uncles I haven't chatted with in ages. Bless the Lord for His healing power to restore and for His hand in all situations for His glory. The Lord is good and He is faithful. My eyes bore witness to this and my heart was blessed.