child-like faith

I noticed this afternoon that my heart grows fonder of the kids at this camp each day. With every scraped knee, sarcastic remark, smile, ‘light bulb’ thinking moment, and endless reminder to hush, pay attention, or get going, I am beginning to see the life – the purpose in this ministry. I think I entered the summer with some expectations about my teens especially, which have since been broken, refined, and altogether made different.

To see a child smile when you’ve hugged them, or to be pummeled over by their joyous excitement in seeing you – to hear other counselors or parents speak of how they always hear talk of you – to see the influence – the growth in their little hearts from one simple, precious ingredient – Love. I’m starting to see how every smile, silly prank, and moment spent listening with undivided attention means the world to these kids. They treasure the opportunity of saying goodbye to you, or telling you about their birthday. When you see them at the store, they remind you of how cool it was several days later.

My perception has changed somewhat – Camp Pathway is no longer just the place I’m doing my internship – or the place I am training young leaders to be good counselors – No. This place has become an endless battlefield where my only weapons are the power of the Spirit at work in and through me, His love, and my choice to depend upon and represent Christ in all I do. That’s it. No amount of treats, scolding, yelling sessions, or boring lectures will do. This is important because I have found myself bandaging more than wounded knees – there are countless little hearts bubbling over with childlike faith this world has hurt, rejected, discarded, and forgotten.

Reflecting on this, I am reminded of how Jesus told the disciples to allow the little children to come unto Him, and that we all should, following their example, approach Him with the same childlike faith – and trust. I think I finally realize, in full, that every smile, hug, wiped tear, bandaged knee, and moment spent playing silly games is one step closer to Heaven for these kids. The principle involved here is simple: I am a soldier – at war for the Kingdom. Right now, in the season, at this place, I fight for the hearts of little ones, seeking to protect them and love them so they may be led to the feet of Christ where healing, life, and the way are found. I fight for hearts – precious hearts in need of Christ’s love and purpose in them.

I am reminded of a quote my friend Adam once shared with me. The quality of this quote is important because its contents and implications have stuck with me for many years. He once told me, “Christy, the more you sweat in the training, the less you bleed in battle”. I know one thing for sure – I’ve done a whole lot of sweating in training thus far – and I know there is plenty more training to come – but when those battles come – I am finding myself more ready and better equipped to take up my cross – carrying forth the sword of the Spirit and seeing the enemy denied and demolished, both in my life and the lives of the little ones I have been chosen to care for. To God be the glory! May He continue to build ties with these precious ones and Himself.

eternity at stake

If ever there was question regarding the importance of when and how to represent Christ in our words, thoughts, and actions, I was reminded once again today that such a lifestyle is necessary and vital for every moment and activity of our lives. Perhaps the Lord felt I needed a little extra stretching this week for in the last 24 hours I have acquired two new CITs for the week – bringing my total up to 11. Managing eleven teenagers without a co-counselor is a semi-overwhelming task, but by the grace of God, it is doable.

This morning during our session on the process of “Cooperative Problem Solving” and various skills involved, we were blessed with a strange visitor – a new CIT named Melissa. My perception at first was a little curious and interested. I noticed Melissa did not seem all that interested to be joining our group, and kept her head buried so we could see little of her face.

A few obvious things about Melissa that stood out to everyone were her bright blue hair, and her giant sharpie tattoo consuming the bulk of space on her wrist. My teens were in a bit of shock. I assumed asking her to share a bit about herself would be helpful to the group, but it only made them that much more overwhelmed. Melissa made a rather negative impression on our group with her first words, and followed this up by sharing of her aspirations to become a tattoo artist when she is older. When I put this together with her appearance I was not surprised.

Reflecting on the day I still hear clearly in my mind Melissa’s curiously sarcastic words, “Is this camp like all about God or something?” When I answered her, I never imagined the response I would receive. “I don’t believe in God. I’m an atheist”. I think she was a little caught off guard by my reaction to her claim. She proceeded to tell me that most people judge her because she is so weird. I instinctively felt the love of Christ welling up deep in my heart for this girl and fought her self put-downs with kind reminders of her uniqueness.

At the moment I was a little emotionally challenged and overwhelmed. I felt helpless. An atheist girl who doesn’t love Jesus? What in the world would I do? I stole away in a quiet room for a few minutes to ask for guidance and wisdom from the Lord – I knew without a doubt my greatest challenge was going to be to love this girl like Christ as hard, and intensely as I can this week – so I will leave a mark on her life – a mark of truth and life, of peace and joy, of love and promise, and of purpose through relationship with Christ. My thought process suddenly became not my own. It was now my purpose to impress on this little girl a sense of Christ’s love – even thought she has no belief or desire to believe in God.

I did find hope however as we spoke and I asked if we could have a conversation about what she believes. She told me religious people are not good at listening to her because they think she is wrong and weird, and she hates pretending to satisfy people. I told her she did not need to pretend, but I would like to hear her thoughts. She expressed potential for her desiring to research God “when she is older”, but for now she was satisfied not believing in Him. A sense of great urgency beat within my heart. This was important because it forced me to think differently – to see differently through a separate set of eyes – how a girl who does not know Jesus sadly, hopelessly, perceives the world and people around her. Sadly, Melissa believes that no one can really love her – that God does not love her – and that everyone has some sort of alternative agenda against her. This breaks my heart.

God provided a blessed opportunity for me to share my heart and brokenness for this girl with my CIT group – and to help them understand the urgency and importance of people knowing Christ. The very fact that eternity is at stake when someone refuses to follow Christ and live in relationship with Him is frightening. My kids even acknowledged how sad and scary it is to think that Melissa could go to hell if she lives a life without Jesus. This was important because I was able to have a serious, reality check heart-talk with my CITs about our whole life purpose. Their hearts were stirred, challenged, and questioned. It was an encouraging, blessed, and unifying time for our group.

I challenged my CITs by saying something to the affect of, “Look guys. I care for you – that’s why I’m here. Now we have three days, three more days! With Melissa – and we may be the only impression of Jesus she ever receives in her whole life – so can we rise to the challenge of loving on her like Christ, of showing her God’s love that we all know and share?” They all agreed to the challenge and things felt different as we walked away from our talking spot under the tree. There was a certain motivation, a sense of drive and purpose, a battlefield mentality to storm the gates of hell for this new girl we hope to see become a sister in the Lord!

Reflecting on the experience as a whole, I was reminded of something I prayed about last night – I told God I was tired of living “just a day, just an ordinary day” and that I wanted to live the extraordinary – the best – the hardest and toughest for His glory. Who knew He would kindly follow through by sending me an unbelieving little girl with a lot of deep hurts, lacking a sense of purpose and feeling much like a weird freak or outcast! Lord, breathe your Spirit in this place!

Happy Father's Day!

To the man who's watched me grow...
Comforted me when I cried...
Fought for me when I was wronged...
Disciplined me when I was sly...
Cheered for me when I needed support...
Believed in me when I was unsure...
Laughed with me about life...
Reminded me of where I come from...
Coached me from the sidelines and bleachers...
Loved me unconditionally no matter what.

To a the man I admire and cherish - including all your crazy kinks and characteristics. Happy Father's Day Dad! Love you!


22 years Daddy! You've done good!
(but remember...not without Mom's help and teamwork!
"It takes two baby...it takes two baby...woo!)

just a day, just an ordinary day

It seems as though the running theme the Lord continues to place in my path is a solid truth from Ephesians 3:20- "Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might as or think". I've been seeing, reading and hearing this EVERYWHERE. Think I should maybe pay attention?

See...I think sometimes I am guilty of settling for just a day, just an ordinary day - and when I do, I find myself strangely at war with - myself. My heart aches and craves the Deep.

I'm reminded of a few phrases from a song that used to play on the radio during my early teen years, "just a day, just an ordinary day - just trying to get by - just a dream just an ordinary dream..." Why settle for the ordinary? What's the point? It's nothing special - it's just ordinary.

If you had the choice between a piece of freshly baked, drizzled with melting butter bread - or an ordinary piece of bread, which would you choose? Why?

So why do we settle for the ordinary things..when we could ask God for mind-boggling, seemingly impossible things through prayer - and believe for them - only to see Him be glorified in doing abundantly and infinitely more than we could EVER ask or even imagine?

I'm tired of ordinary days. I want to live a life of adventurous belief in the One who is ABLE...through His mighty power at work within me...do do infinitely more than I could ever ask or imagine. Why? I serve a mighty God...why not allow Him to use me for His mighty works - weak and unworthy as I am?

His love - His peace - His joy - His promises - His faithfulness - everything about Him is extravagant...why not live in pursuit and devotion to Him with the most extravagant effort we can muster? Lord help me to see...to know...to trust...to rest...to go...and to be.

Visiting the Georgia Aquarium

My roommate Sarah Waddell visited me for the weekend a two weeks ago and we ventured to Atlanta where we explored the world's largest aquarium - the Georgia Aquarium. It was a captivating, fun, child-like experience! Here are some glimpses of what we got to see and were amazed by! God is so creative - it baffles my mind how we try to capture the beauty of the oceans deep - and yet so much remains unknown, undiscovered, and untouched by human eyes, minds, or hands. Places like this always make me smile. What a powerful God we serve eh?

becoming a jewel

I really appreciate when people take time out of their day to invest in the lives of others. I especially appreciate when I am on the receiving end of some of this “loving” and receive an e-mail, a letter, or a quick little note, just expressing that someone, somewhere for whatever reason is glad I am alive, believes in me, and mostly, loves me. Reflecting on an e-mail I received the other day from my dear sister Aisha, I feel both encouraged and blessed.

She shared something she had learned recently in a book she was reading about jewels. Perhaps I assumed, like many people, that the process for creating jewels is rather uncomplicated. Apparently, I was wrong. The process of a jewel’s creation is hard work, requiring much sifting and chipping away so it may glimmer and shine brilliantly as a true gem. This is important because all jewels begin as plain ol’ rocks. There’s nothing particularly special about them other than the fact that they need an awful lot of work done to them to work them into the jewel they were always meant to be.

Aisha shared with me that for a plain ol’ rock to become a jewel it involves a rather grueling process of being tested and lashed by the elements. It must endure winds, rains, fire, chipping away, and so much more so it may be slashed, tossed, and turned, eventually becoming a brilliant jewel! When I put this together with the sometimes grueling process of becoming more like Christ, I realize how greatly we are in need of God’s grace and how very thankful I am for His chipping away on me to become His masterpiece!

We too are like precious jewels before the King of Kings. He deserves nothing but the best, and yet He still chooses plain ol’ rocks to be tested, tried, worked on, and loved on – so He can watch as they become the brilliant jewels He created them to be – to break free of their plain ol’ rocky selves. The logic behind this whole process ties in wonderfully with where I feel I am at in this season and journey of life: internship. Concerning fire, it was 103 boiling degrees outside today – so the Lord is certainly testing me by bringing on the head. My heart too is being stretched to love in new capacities I never imagined possible before.

When I put this together with everything I am learning and enduring, I see the hope and the growth present in my life. I recognize how there is still much work to be done on me – much more tossing and turning on the jagged rocks around me and enduring the elements – so I may be stripped of my rocky self and made into the brilliant, beautiful, lively jewel the King desires me to be – that I may reflect His Majesty!

lovin' for real

Mother Theresa said, “Intense love does not measure – it just gives!” I think this really hard to comprehend and yet I am faced with situations every day that call me to choose to love like this – to love like Christ. I know God doesn’t give us spankings, but He sure does give us a good thump or two once in awhile with His word – and depending on our stubbornness we may get a little boot in the rump too. This is important because I find it necessary to be constantly reminded just how imperfect I really am, and how blessed I am to bare the mark of God’s grace upon my heart.

I think one of the hardest things about desiring to love intensely, without measuring is that we want to protect it, to guide it, to make sure it gets where it is supposed to be going without any bumps and bruises along the way, when in reality – I am an imperfect person and therefore, my love is not perfect love. Christ’s love is though – and “perfect love casts out all fear”. I relate this thought to yet another statement I heard the other day, “Don’t love cautiously. Love extravagantly!” Wow!

One of the hardest things for me to swallow lately has been realizing that I have a whole lot of people in my life who do not necessarily “measure” up in loving me – and that hurts, a lot actually. Some people do a real crummy job loving on those they care most about. I relate this thought to something I learned in PLC. Prez often reminded us, “If you love greatly – you can hurt greatly”. This reminder has been stamped on my heart – and even though I understand the consequences of loving greatly, my heart has also come to understand that aching greatly is not always fun, but it is remarkably beautiful!

In Family Life Ministry last semester Pastor Elliott astounded me week after week with facts and statistics about the makeup and general wellbeing of family in our world today. To be rather blunt, “family these days ain’t all it’s cracked up to be” and in many cases, it just plain ol’ stinks. I realized the need for me to really LOVE my CITs because a lot of them do not see nor receive Christ-like love through their “families”.

Yesterday my teens said, “Miss Christy, why are you so patient with us? If I were you, I would be screaming my head off at us.” I realized I do not need to yell or scream at these teens, even though they do a pretty crummy job of listening to anything and everything I say or ask of them. My perception is pretty one-sided because I only see them during the day, and perhaps these kids already have enough people to yell at them in their lives. The principle involved here was one of patience, yes, but underneath, I also think I am learning to really love. I am far from perfect in this, but I have freedom in expressing myself so as not to hurt or wound those I am expressing myself toward.

Dr. Maurice Watson, the senior pastor at the Beulahland Bible Church I have begun attending said something to the effect of this in his sermon on Sunday concerning the words we speak, “Listen child of God, the English language is broad enough for you to express yourself - even when you’re angry, without any need for vulgarity or insult to enter the mix”. My reaction to this is simply shouting “TRUTH!” just like we do in Personal Evangelism with Mike MacNeil when someone accepts Christ in their lives, “TRUTH!”

unity in the body of Christ

For a long span of time I have felt ‘out of place’ or like an outsider. I was emotionally drained from “church hopping” for the last two and a half years. Being at school and a member of ministry teams allowed me to be exposed to a vast array of churches, but it also gave me an opportunity to analyze and to heart-critique the environments I was choosing to worship in. After a whole lot of frustration, tears, anger, attitude, and careful thought I began to develop deep in my heart a core set of truths which, when not present in a worship service, I find my heart grieved. It has been a long time since I attended a church service and saw people come forward to accept Jesus in their hearts, trusting He will change them and bring LIFE to their being.

When I was first preparing to move to Macon for my internship I began to search for churches on the internet. Despite all the hurt and frustration the organization and institution of “church” has caused me over the last few years, I still realize the great importance in being connected with the Body of Christ. This does not mean I find it necessary to be connected to a building, nor am I an advocate of rules, planned services, and structure.

While I understand the necessity of these things, within reason, I also believe in balance, and freedom. I am a huge fan of freedom, and when it comes to worshipping the Lord, I am all about freedom. My perception of worship has led me to believe that we are to worship in *Spirit* and in *Truth*. In my searches, I came across Beulahland Bible Church. After searching their website, I assumed this church may be some sort of mega church and I wasn't overly impressed nor tugged to pursue attending or discovering what the Lord may have for me there.

Yesterday I went to Beulahland Bible Church and the presence of the Holy Spirit was so sweet and thick, and welcome that I began to weep. My heart was being restored and refreshed with each breath I took. My roommate Sarah visited me for the weekend and we stood, swaying and clapping, smiling, and weeping in the presence of the Lord, as the only two white people in the building.

In a sea of beautiful black and brown I felt sense of home unlike anything I have felt at church in a very long time. This was important because the Lord began to speak healing, peace, and rest in my heart. I was emotionally overwhelmed, humbled, broken, and restored so my cup was overflowing with the sweetness of the Holy Spirit. The people in this church communicated a deep desire to meet with God, and to be united as one.

I related this to something I have been reading in my morning devotions over the last week about the church community/body of believers in Acts, who we are told were “one in mind and spirit”. When prayer time came in the service, we were instructed to take the hands of those beside us. As I looked across the church, row after row, person after person was connected to their neighbor in a beautiful display of love and honor for the Lord. We all prayed together, as a “body of believers” holding hands, and holding one another up, though we were all bent beneath different loads of craziness. This revealed true unity to my heart and showed me what it is I have been so earnestly searching for. I plan on attending this church in the future and getting involved.

I noticed the pastor’s care in delivering solid Biblical truth and was appreciative of his message. The Lord spoke through this stranger of a man, in a beautiful place of worship and openness to the Spirit to my heart; so much so, that I felt led to share a portion of the message principles with my CIT group this morning during my teaching time. The logic behind this involved the intention of solidifying what I heard yesterday in my life and heart so I may live up to a higher standard of holiness before God that points others to Him and gives Him all glory, honor, and praise. This is important because I must practice the truth I speak and teach others, in order that I may live it fully, understand it, accept it, and grow in it. God is faithful!

really letting go

I was reminded today that I cannot change people. I cannot make people fall in love with Christ, and I certainly cannot make people experience a deep sense of God’s love. The only things I can do are to rest – in Christ, and trust as He molds, breaks, mends, and fashions me more into His likeness, that I will point others to His healing strong right hand. The only hand capable of upholding us in times of struggle, grief, sorrow, pain, joy, praise, everything! I can only strive to look “more like my Daddy” in Heaven, and be held accountable for how I choose to spend and distribute my time, energy, resources, and affections.

The Bible is clear in giving us the appropriate focus of where our minds and hearts should be. 1 John 5:21 says, “Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts”. Proverbs 4:23 echoes this plea urging us, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course off your life”. Reflecting on these verses in Scripture, I am reminded how the Lord often reminds me of the importance of loving Him above all else. Many of us in the world struggle to love, with all of ourselves, the very God who gave His life for us. For me! I am so unworthy of such a beloved, selfless gift of Love! True, real love!

This was an important realization for me because I also recognize how greatly I desire to share this love with others and how important it is that I take action sharing it. Atlantic, a band of worshipers and dear brothers in Christ, recorded a song on their worship album in which the lyrics powerfully proclaim the deep aching desire of my heart for the Lord and to live for Him alone, “All I am, for all You are – nothing else can satisfy God, all I am, for all You are, nothing else can satisfy God...”. Nothing else, but all of us satisfies this all-powerful, loving, jealous God. Nothing!! I want SO badly for young people, this generation, my generation, to behold and embrace this truth! My heart and my flesh cry out – for the Living God!

I noticed an intense desire and drive this morning in my heart as I led my CIT leadership group in a time of quiet, reflective, creative worship. We set up our classroom to be an environment that was rather peaceful and I played music softly in the background to help the teens feel less awkward about writing, drawing, praying, meeting and communing with God. I assumed this would be a difficult challenge for several persons in my group and I found my perception to be correct, however, I also assumed at one point that no one was really getting out of this experience, what I felt they should be. That’s when God clunked me on the head and reminded me, “Christy, you cannot make people love Me”. Ouch!

The logic behind this is simple: I can’t – that’s the truth! I was emotionally a little distraught, humbled, and peacefully assured, all at the same time. We shared a discussion time following our quiet time and with the exception of two teens, I received very positive feedback. They all desired to share this experience again. They communicated an interest in different ways of worshipping God and expressed their thankfulness for peace and quiet to think about God and to just “be”. I hate how the enemy can cause disappointing, distracting thoughts in our minds.

I assumed, from the outside that nothing was happening in their hearts – that they maybe even thought I was foolish for ever making them participate in such a “boring activity” – but once again, I was wrong, and God’s Spirit, I trust and know is working in the deepest chambers of their hearts, on a level I have no ability nor right to perceive – and that is what matters. It’s not me, not my feelings, not even my ability to please or get through to the group – all that matters is Christ’s love for them and their journey in learning to accept it and live as children who know the Father’s love – deeply! I still have a LOT of growing to do – but AMEN for that and PRAISE be to God who patiently walks with me directing me along His path – baby step by baby step.

visiting great gram

On our way down to Georgia we stopped into Great Gram's nursing home to visit her.
What a beautiful, sweet lady she is. She is turning 90 in October!
I'd missed her a lot and haven't seen her in a few years - though her mind and hearing are a little weak and weary at times - she is still quite the little story teller with a whole lot of love bubbling in her heart!

I was reminded as we visited how important it is to stay in touch with our loved ones. People are of greatest value - each one unique in their own way. We should choose to willingly love one another without an agenda and to embrace the blessed opportunities we are given to invest in the lives of those around us - we never know when or if these opportunities will come again!

A Glimpse of Internship (Reflection #1)

Welcome to Hephzibah Ministries! This is my home in Georgia for the next 6 months! This is the sign by the road that welcomes everyone to the Hephzibah campus. Nestled a small, yet quaint way back in the woods, this spot is a quiet, sunshiny, and beautiful spot for the community and residential outreach Hephzibah does.Here is a glimpse of where I am living on this internship adventure!


This is the gymnasium at Hephzibah where the Camp Pathway office is located as well as an indoor pool, gymnasium and mini-theatre. We have spent a lot of time in this facility for training and preparing for camp thus far.


Here is our Camp Pathway sign - many of these are posted along the roadway leading up to the heart of Hephzibah's campus to direct campers to our day-camp programming.


Random number? Nah just a caution and reminder to GO SLOW...there are children around. These comical, yet serious speed limit signs marked 17 mph are legitimate and posted all along the roadway at Hephzibah. As a result of people's tendency to go WAY too fast, there have also been speed bumps added today to ensure people take the 17 mph warning seriously!


This is the dining hall where we eat the large majority of our meals with residents before or after our workday activities.


Here is one of the street signs on campus. All the roads have cute, kid friendly names reminding us that we are at a ministry facility aimed at ministering to the hearts of children.


This is House 105 where I reside at Hephzibah along with 6 other ladies who are working for the summer. Beautiful, eh?


Here is our large kitchen where we cook together on the weekends.
This place is a good reminder of home!


Here is our upstairs living room where we sometimes sit together and watch "chick flicks" or favorite old Disney movies on the first televisions ever invented (we're not really sure about this, but it is really old!).


Here is my bedroom where I catch beauty sleep each night and work on projects for internship! Each of the girls in our house has their own room, with the exception of two who share.


This is our bathroom...as you may notice there are urinals in the background. This is rather comical for a house full of girls. However, we are living in what used to be the Junior Boys home. However, the state ruled that children under the age of 13 are no longer allowed to live in group home settings, so Hephzibah is now only able to facilitate housing for 13-18 year olds and college age independent students.


This is me playing the piano in our living room. I've been practicing all Mrs. Klob taught me last semester and enjoyed some wonderful worship times in the quietness of our living room. My piano skills are increasing and so is my heart for leading worship. This piano, though it carries nearly a third of sticky keys has been a giant blessing for me. It's how I unwind or just think from a long day.


This is Mrs. Charlane (my supervisor) and myself. She is a wonderful woman of God with a passionate heart for the work of the Kingdom.


Here is a picture from the Whistle Stop Cafe in Juliette Georgia (home of the movie set Fried Green Tomatoes). Some of the people I am working with this summer are in the photo enjoying fried green tomatoes n' sweet tea.