really letting go

I was reminded today that I cannot change people. I cannot make people fall in love with Christ, and I certainly cannot make people experience a deep sense of God’s love. The only things I can do are to rest – in Christ, and trust as He molds, breaks, mends, and fashions me more into His likeness, that I will point others to His healing strong right hand. The only hand capable of upholding us in times of struggle, grief, sorrow, pain, joy, praise, everything! I can only strive to look “more like my Daddy” in Heaven, and be held accountable for how I choose to spend and distribute my time, energy, resources, and affections.

The Bible is clear in giving us the appropriate focus of where our minds and hearts should be. 1 John 5:21 says, “Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts”. Proverbs 4:23 echoes this plea urging us, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course off your life”. Reflecting on these verses in Scripture, I am reminded how the Lord often reminds me of the importance of loving Him above all else. Many of us in the world struggle to love, with all of ourselves, the very God who gave His life for us. For me! I am so unworthy of such a beloved, selfless gift of Love! True, real love!

This was an important realization for me because I also recognize how greatly I desire to share this love with others and how important it is that I take action sharing it. Atlantic, a band of worshipers and dear brothers in Christ, recorded a song on their worship album in which the lyrics powerfully proclaim the deep aching desire of my heart for the Lord and to live for Him alone, “All I am, for all You are – nothing else can satisfy God, all I am, for all You are, nothing else can satisfy God...”. Nothing else, but all of us satisfies this all-powerful, loving, jealous God. Nothing!! I want SO badly for young people, this generation, my generation, to behold and embrace this truth! My heart and my flesh cry out – for the Living God!

I noticed an intense desire and drive this morning in my heart as I led my CIT leadership group in a time of quiet, reflective, creative worship. We set up our classroom to be an environment that was rather peaceful and I played music softly in the background to help the teens feel less awkward about writing, drawing, praying, meeting and communing with God. I assumed this would be a difficult challenge for several persons in my group and I found my perception to be correct, however, I also assumed at one point that no one was really getting out of this experience, what I felt they should be. That’s when God clunked me on the head and reminded me, “Christy, you cannot make people love Me”. Ouch!

The logic behind this is simple: I can’t – that’s the truth! I was emotionally a little distraught, humbled, and peacefully assured, all at the same time. We shared a discussion time following our quiet time and with the exception of two teens, I received very positive feedback. They all desired to share this experience again. They communicated an interest in different ways of worshipping God and expressed their thankfulness for peace and quiet to think about God and to just “be”. I hate how the enemy can cause disappointing, distracting thoughts in our minds.

I assumed, from the outside that nothing was happening in their hearts – that they maybe even thought I was foolish for ever making them participate in such a “boring activity” – but once again, I was wrong, and God’s Spirit, I trust and know is working in the deepest chambers of their hearts, on a level I have no ability nor right to perceive – and that is what matters. It’s not me, not my feelings, not even my ability to please or get through to the group – all that matters is Christ’s love for them and their journey in learning to accept it and live as children who know the Father’s love – deeply! I still have a LOT of growing to do – but AMEN for that and PRAISE be to God who patiently walks with me directing me along His path – baby step by baby step.