eternity at stake

If ever there was question regarding the importance of when and how to represent Christ in our words, thoughts, and actions, I was reminded once again today that such a lifestyle is necessary and vital for every moment and activity of our lives. Perhaps the Lord felt I needed a little extra stretching this week for in the last 24 hours I have acquired two new CITs for the week – bringing my total up to 11. Managing eleven teenagers without a co-counselor is a semi-overwhelming task, but by the grace of God, it is doable.

This morning during our session on the process of “Cooperative Problem Solving” and various skills involved, we were blessed with a strange visitor – a new CIT named Melissa. My perception at first was a little curious and interested. I noticed Melissa did not seem all that interested to be joining our group, and kept her head buried so we could see little of her face.

A few obvious things about Melissa that stood out to everyone were her bright blue hair, and her giant sharpie tattoo consuming the bulk of space on her wrist. My teens were in a bit of shock. I assumed asking her to share a bit about herself would be helpful to the group, but it only made them that much more overwhelmed. Melissa made a rather negative impression on our group with her first words, and followed this up by sharing of her aspirations to become a tattoo artist when she is older. When I put this together with her appearance I was not surprised.

Reflecting on the day I still hear clearly in my mind Melissa’s curiously sarcastic words, “Is this camp like all about God or something?” When I answered her, I never imagined the response I would receive. “I don’t believe in God. I’m an atheist”. I think she was a little caught off guard by my reaction to her claim. She proceeded to tell me that most people judge her because she is so weird. I instinctively felt the love of Christ welling up deep in my heart for this girl and fought her self put-downs with kind reminders of her uniqueness.

At the moment I was a little emotionally challenged and overwhelmed. I felt helpless. An atheist girl who doesn’t love Jesus? What in the world would I do? I stole away in a quiet room for a few minutes to ask for guidance and wisdom from the Lord – I knew without a doubt my greatest challenge was going to be to love this girl like Christ as hard, and intensely as I can this week – so I will leave a mark on her life – a mark of truth and life, of peace and joy, of love and promise, and of purpose through relationship with Christ. My thought process suddenly became not my own. It was now my purpose to impress on this little girl a sense of Christ’s love – even thought she has no belief or desire to believe in God.

I did find hope however as we spoke and I asked if we could have a conversation about what she believes. She told me religious people are not good at listening to her because they think she is wrong and weird, and she hates pretending to satisfy people. I told her she did not need to pretend, but I would like to hear her thoughts. She expressed potential for her desiring to research God “when she is older”, but for now she was satisfied not believing in Him. A sense of great urgency beat within my heart. This was important because it forced me to think differently – to see differently through a separate set of eyes – how a girl who does not know Jesus sadly, hopelessly, perceives the world and people around her. Sadly, Melissa believes that no one can really love her – that God does not love her – and that everyone has some sort of alternative agenda against her. This breaks my heart.

God provided a blessed opportunity for me to share my heart and brokenness for this girl with my CIT group – and to help them understand the urgency and importance of people knowing Christ. The very fact that eternity is at stake when someone refuses to follow Christ and live in relationship with Him is frightening. My kids even acknowledged how sad and scary it is to think that Melissa could go to hell if she lives a life without Jesus. This was important because I was able to have a serious, reality check heart-talk with my CITs about our whole life purpose. Their hearts were stirred, challenged, and questioned. It was an encouraging, blessed, and unifying time for our group.

I challenged my CITs by saying something to the affect of, “Look guys. I care for you – that’s why I’m here. Now we have three days, three more days! With Melissa – and we may be the only impression of Jesus she ever receives in her whole life – so can we rise to the challenge of loving on her like Christ, of showing her God’s love that we all know and share?” They all agreed to the challenge and things felt different as we walked away from our talking spot under the tree. There was a certain motivation, a sense of drive and purpose, a battlefield mentality to storm the gates of hell for this new girl we hope to see become a sister in the Lord!

Reflecting on the experience as a whole, I was reminded of something I prayed about last night – I told God I was tired of living “just a day, just an ordinary day” and that I wanted to live the extraordinary – the best – the hardest and toughest for His glory. Who knew He would kindly follow through by sending me an unbelieving little girl with a lot of deep hurts, lacking a sense of purpose and feeling much like a weird freak or outcast! Lord, breathe your Spirit in this place!