Saturday, December 26, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
internship reflection (part 1)
(These thoughts are inspired from my comprehensive reflection paper/final assignment. It's rather appropriate that there are 6 parts.)
The Georgia sun pressed wildly upon my face as we wound through the wooded roadway to discover a small village of sorts amidst nature’s peace and quiet. Beholding the landscape before me, I quickly realized this would be the official stomping grounds of my newest six month adventure – internship. Little did I know that this beauty would be present before be the majority of my days in Georgia. Its captivating features would allow me opportunities of much thinking and reflection, even during the toughest of days.
Breathtaking baby blue, cloudless skies were enchanting, as well as glimmering golden beams of warmth and heat. I felt worlds away from anywhere I’d ever been before, and yet I knew in my heart of hearts, this was just the beginning. Macon, Georgia, full of historical roots from the early days of our country’s foundation was completely opposite of little Aroostook County, Maine where I’ve spent the last sixteen years of my life. In a matter of moments I went from secondary, bumpy roads, to four lane highways – from two grocery stores to two within a mile of each other – from small town to big city – from neighborhoods to ghettos or plantations.
If one cliché statement in all my life rings true it is simply, “Home is where the heart is”. This new, strange, warm, foreign land somehow became my home for six months – and with little planning, thought, or even consideration of things being any other way than they simply were, I began to change. Home somehow became the place where I met Him – deep in my heart. Home was no longer a building, or specific town, nor a school, old memory, or ideal – it was quite simply found in my heart – in the One whom my heart finds total and utter rest in.
Breaking apart from all things familiar made me absolutely uncomfortable, yet this season of preparation was crucial, vital even, to my character development, and discovery of an even deeper passion for the work of Christ. Understanding that God never brings us through anything He does not fully intend on using for His glory and our growth, sustained me on many occasions through the storms of this season. It uplifted me during many celebrations, victories, and accomplishments in this season. It puzzled me in many obstacles, opportunities, and relationships this season – yet overall, God consistently remained faithful!
Considering my time and ministry experiences over these last six months, I believe part of my final journal touches on it best, “It’s strange how quickly we transition from beginning to end – be it in a season, a class, a career, a moment in time – whatever it may be, the changes, experiences, and lessons gleaned are never fully captured in the instances themselves, but rather later on, after reflection has been practiced, and consideration been given.”
“I believe my internship in Macon, Georgia has been one of those times in my life where I have learned and grown, yet I know this is just the beginning. I know there is much more to learn, and much more to experience. While this place has been my ‘stomping grounds’ for the last six months, and God has allowed various relationships to become strong and focused on Him in this season, I cannot help but feel like it’s almost unnatural to be finished.’
“Honestly, when I began my internship initially, it felt like six months was a long period of time – ½ a year – a whole summer and semester at school – yet, looking back now, I wonder and cannot help but laugh at how considerably different I think, act, and feel since May. Coming to Georgia has been full of its surprises, mostly wonderful, and sometimes disappointing and downright frustrating” but overall, it’s been beautiful, and completely life changing.
My internship has been a season of becoming – of blossoming – beholding – warring – stripping – stretching – bearing – and adventuring. I believe now, more than ever, that I have become more of the young woman God has intended me to be. My Nana summed it up uniquely in saying, “Christy, dear, you have truly blossomed.” The way I speak, think, carry myself, laugh, discover, research, write, and communicate have all been significantly refined and grown. I found myself beholding the Lord and His love for people in ways like never before. I found myself undone – shaken – disturbed even. There were moments even, when I was too moved to speak, to think, to walk, to question. Encountering the Living God in a foreign land was necessary for me at this point in my life. It enabled me to pursue the fullness of what God had for me in Georgia be it through opportunities to serve, relationships, or even building connections.
The Georgia sun pressed wildly upon my face as we wound through the wooded roadway to discover a small village of sorts amidst nature’s peace and quiet. Beholding the landscape before me, I quickly realized this would be the official stomping grounds of my newest six month adventure – internship. Little did I know that this beauty would be present before be the majority of my days in Georgia. Its captivating features would allow me opportunities of much thinking and reflection, even during the toughest of days.
Breathtaking baby blue, cloudless skies were enchanting, as well as glimmering golden beams of warmth and heat. I felt worlds away from anywhere I’d ever been before, and yet I knew in my heart of hearts, this was just the beginning. Macon, Georgia, full of historical roots from the early days of our country’s foundation was completely opposite of little Aroostook County, Maine where I’ve spent the last sixteen years of my life. In a matter of moments I went from secondary, bumpy roads, to four lane highways – from two grocery stores to two within a mile of each other – from small town to big city – from neighborhoods to ghettos or plantations.
If one cliché statement in all my life rings true it is simply, “Home is where the heart is”. This new, strange, warm, foreign land somehow became my home for six months – and with little planning, thought, or even consideration of things being any other way than they simply were, I began to change. Home somehow became the place where I met Him – deep in my heart. Home was no longer a building, or specific town, nor a school, old memory, or ideal – it was quite simply found in my heart – in the One whom my heart finds total and utter rest in.
Breaking apart from all things familiar made me absolutely uncomfortable, yet this season of preparation was crucial, vital even, to my character development, and discovery of an even deeper passion for the work of Christ. Understanding that God never brings us through anything He does not fully intend on using for His glory and our growth, sustained me on many occasions through the storms of this season. It uplifted me during many celebrations, victories, and accomplishments in this season. It puzzled me in many obstacles, opportunities, and relationships this season – yet overall, God consistently remained faithful!
Considering my time and ministry experiences over these last six months, I believe part of my final journal touches on it best, “It’s strange how quickly we transition from beginning to end – be it in a season, a class, a career, a moment in time – whatever it may be, the changes, experiences, and lessons gleaned are never fully captured in the instances themselves, but rather later on, after reflection has been practiced, and consideration been given.”
“I believe my internship in Macon, Georgia has been one of those times in my life where I have learned and grown, yet I know this is just the beginning. I know there is much more to learn, and much more to experience. While this place has been my ‘stomping grounds’ for the last six months, and God has allowed various relationships to become strong and focused on Him in this season, I cannot help but feel like it’s almost unnatural to be finished.’
“Honestly, when I began my internship initially, it felt like six months was a long period of time – ½ a year – a whole summer and semester at school – yet, looking back now, I wonder and cannot help but laugh at how considerably different I think, act, and feel since May. Coming to Georgia has been full of its surprises, mostly wonderful, and sometimes disappointing and downright frustrating” but overall, it’s been beautiful, and completely life changing.
My internship has been a season of becoming – of blossoming – beholding – warring – stripping – stretching – bearing – and adventuring. I believe now, more than ever, that I have become more of the young woman God has intended me to be. My Nana summed it up uniquely in saying, “Christy, dear, you have truly blossomed.” The way I speak, think, carry myself, laugh, discover, research, write, and communicate have all been significantly refined and grown. I found myself beholding the Lord and His love for people in ways like never before. I found myself undone – shaken – disturbed even. There were moments even, when I was too moved to speak, to think, to walk, to question. Encountering the Living God in a foreign land was necessary for me at this point in my life. It enabled me to pursue the fullness of what God had for me in Georgia be it through opportunities to serve, relationships, or even building connections.
internship reflection (part 2)
Spiritually, it was not uncommon for me to experience warring between thoughts, mindsets, expectations, and even condemnation from various people in the church or family as I journeyed along these six months of discovering. I was left feeling broken and bare – yet free like never before. Laughter filled my belly with joy unspeakable, and a new set of lenses were placed on my eyes allowing me to see things in ways I never imagined possible. My discernment grew, and so did the heaviness and responsibility weighing on my heart. Working with many different people in Georgia exposed me to hurts, stories, and ideas I’d never classified as reality before. It motivated me to work even harder at bringing Light and Truth to darkened places.
Stretching became a daily practice in my life, and I don’t necessarily mean the physical, literal stretching of muscles before/after exercising. My living arrangements were in constant flux and my patience was tried on a variety of levels. I never realized prior to internship that I required or even had a personal bubble of space. Until the day that space was invaded, I was content – then I found it necessary to adjust and fight through the daily button pushers which attempted to distract or take away from the truly important matters at hand.
With this, I learned there are always multiple perspectives present in any given circumstance or happening – yet in our selfish, clouded lenses, we often struggle to see beyond ourselves. Many of us run for the mirror when something is wrong to give ourselves a little pep talk, when in reality, we’re missing what we truly should be reflecting on and learning from. God certainly adjusted my lenses throughout this experience, and gave me fresh sight.
As my heart was laid bare before the Lord – I found myself recklessly abandoned and dependent upon Christ in all aspects of my life. I began to recognize the passions of my heart – and that I, just as everyone else, have a unique heartbeat, designed for a specific, God honoring purpose. Life is an adventure – and the joy is in the journey. My adventure has just begun, and my heartbeat or passion is slowly but surely becoming more focused and aligned with that. As my heartbeat became more familiar to my ears, and more aligned with His, I began to see my prayer from a few years ago take root in my life, “to love until it hurts and to keep on loving”.
As I recognized I had been given this precious, unique, and purposeful heartbeat, I also recognized that at times it was probably going to hurt, and it does – and at times it was going to seem not worth it, but it always is – and at times I’d be tempted to give up, but the One who gives me breath, and a heartbeat gives me Life. Something quite profound to ponder is the idea that blood represents life. A heartbeat involves the pumping of blood to vital organs so life may be sustained. A heartbeat without the blood of life refuses to function and is completely useless, but one with this blood of life, offers a very useful and necessary contribution to the body.
The reality that Christ shed His blood for me, that I might have life in Him – that this heartbeat, or purpose in my life might take root, and pump essential nutrients, strength, and oxygen to the other vital organs of the body has blown me away. The heart is sort of like a leader and a servant amongst the organs. The heart both gives and receives freely, yet it always expends or serves with a lot of energy and work to accomplish its task. It is always on the go, even while it rests. The heart rests in action – and understands the necessity and life altering importance of the whole body resting.
My heartbeat is one of many in the body of Christ, yet it is uniquely designed. I am purposed to bring life to the nations of this world, to the other people groups who have never heard the name of Jesus. These new lenses or sight have made this purpose, this vision, even clearer. They have, or better yet, He has revolutionized the way I see, think, and feel about life!
I came into this journey assuming or better yet expecting a lot of things. I believe expectations are a good thing, and are highly necessary in motivating us through various seasons of life – but we must remain aware and cautious with these expectations. It is far too easy to allow expectations to become agendas, and when we live blindly by agendas, we miss the fullness and potential of the experience at hand. We often leave disappointed, and forget why we even began adventuring in the first place. Sometimes I found myself intentionally guarding against these expectations, so I would not naively face disappointment or even failure.
Despite these initial expectations, I left Georgia knowing two things for sure. First of all, I have a remarkable story that is worth telling, it needs to be told. Secondly, I am loved by God. All my expectations were shattered over the course of six months as I watched painful growing moment after painful growing moment move me, break me, and ultimately shape me.
I must clarify that these ‘painful growing moments’ were not a horrible thing, but rather were very necessary, beautiful, exposing, life-changing opportunities. When I put this together with something Mr. Dan Rodgerson said in Crisis Counseling, I am encouraged, “a crisis can either be a problem, or an opportunity”. I faced a lot of ‘crises’ while on my internship, but the more I viewed them as opportunities instead of problems, the greater my resiliency became.
God has given me a heartbeat for the nations, and to live my life doing anything else would be absurd and utterly tormenting. My religious mindsets and Pharisaic walls were torn down, piece by piece, blasted into unfixable pieces. My critical thoughts and judgments were consumed and replaced with LOVE and FREEDOM as the Holy Spirit gained ground and ultimate control in my life.
These crises I soon realized were oftentimes rooted in selfishness or pride – sometimes on my part, and sometimes on the part of those I was dealing with. Regardless of who these crises stemmed from, the Lord used these moments to grow me, to teach me, and to mold me. I found direction in the strangest places, amongst the strangest and most unlikely company – but that has truly been the beauty of this season – encountering the unknown and the unexpected in the most unthinkable conditions.
I realize now more than ever that I am a constant work being molded in the hands of the Potter, and regardless of where I’m at, He still loves me! I don’t reckon I can ever look at people, including myself the same. I realize during this season my heart has changed a lot – but mostly my eyes have been opened, my attitude softened, and my trust laid bare, tested, and affirmed in Him. As a result, a great work in my heart was able to take root and begin the beautiful, painful process of refining and rebuilding.
Stretching became a daily practice in my life, and I don’t necessarily mean the physical, literal stretching of muscles before/after exercising. My living arrangements were in constant flux and my patience was tried on a variety of levels. I never realized prior to internship that I required or even had a personal bubble of space. Until the day that space was invaded, I was content – then I found it necessary to adjust and fight through the daily button pushers which attempted to distract or take away from the truly important matters at hand.
With this, I learned there are always multiple perspectives present in any given circumstance or happening – yet in our selfish, clouded lenses, we often struggle to see beyond ourselves. Many of us run for the mirror when something is wrong to give ourselves a little pep talk, when in reality, we’re missing what we truly should be reflecting on and learning from. God certainly adjusted my lenses throughout this experience, and gave me fresh sight.
As my heart was laid bare before the Lord – I found myself recklessly abandoned and dependent upon Christ in all aspects of my life. I began to recognize the passions of my heart – and that I, just as everyone else, have a unique heartbeat, designed for a specific, God honoring purpose. Life is an adventure – and the joy is in the journey. My adventure has just begun, and my heartbeat or passion is slowly but surely becoming more focused and aligned with that. As my heartbeat became more familiar to my ears, and more aligned with His, I began to see my prayer from a few years ago take root in my life, “to love until it hurts and to keep on loving”.
As I recognized I had been given this precious, unique, and purposeful heartbeat, I also recognized that at times it was probably going to hurt, and it does – and at times it was going to seem not worth it, but it always is – and at times I’d be tempted to give up, but the One who gives me breath, and a heartbeat gives me Life. Something quite profound to ponder is the idea that blood represents life. A heartbeat involves the pumping of blood to vital organs so life may be sustained. A heartbeat without the blood of life refuses to function and is completely useless, but one with this blood of life, offers a very useful and necessary contribution to the body.
The reality that Christ shed His blood for me, that I might have life in Him – that this heartbeat, or purpose in my life might take root, and pump essential nutrients, strength, and oxygen to the other vital organs of the body has blown me away. The heart is sort of like a leader and a servant amongst the organs. The heart both gives and receives freely, yet it always expends or serves with a lot of energy and work to accomplish its task. It is always on the go, even while it rests. The heart rests in action – and understands the necessity and life altering importance of the whole body resting.
My heartbeat is one of many in the body of Christ, yet it is uniquely designed. I am purposed to bring life to the nations of this world, to the other people groups who have never heard the name of Jesus. These new lenses or sight have made this purpose, this vision, even clearer. They have, or better yet, He has revolutionized the way I see, think, and feel about life!
I came into this journey assuming or better yet expecting a lot of things. I believe expectations are a good thing, and are highly necessary in motivating us through various seasons of life – but we must remain aware and cautious with these expectations. It is far too easy to allow expectations to become agendas, and when we live blindly by agendas, we miss the fullness and potential of the experience at hand. We often leave disappointed, and forget why we even began adventuring in the first place. Sometimes I found myself intentionally guarding against these expectations, so I would not naively face disappointment or even failure.
Despite these initial expectations, I left Georgia knowing two things for sure. First of all, I have a remarkable story that is worth telling, it needs to be told. Secondly, I am loved by God. All my expectations were shattered over the course of six months as I watched painful growing moment after painful growing moment move me, break me, and ultimately shape me.
I must clarify that these ‘painful growing moments’ were not a horrible thing, but rather were very necessary, beautiful, exposing, life-changing opportunities. When I put this together with something Mr. Dan Rodgerson said in Crisis Counseling, I am encouraged, “a crisis can either be a problem, or an opportunity”. I faced a lot of ‘crises’ while on my internship, but the more I viewed them as opportunities instead of problems, the greater my resiliency became.
God has given me a heartbeat for the nations, and to live my life doing anything else would be absurd and utterly tormenting. My religious mindsets and Pharisaic walls were torn down, piece by piece, blasted into unfixable pieces. My critical thoughts and judgments were consumed and replaced with LOVE and FREEDOM as the Holy Spirit gained ground and ultimate control in my life.
These crises I soon realized were oftentimes rooted in selfishness or pride – sometimes on my part, and sometimes on the part of those I was dealing with. Regardless of who these crises stemmed from, the Lord used these moments to grow me, to teach me, and to mold me. I found direction in the strangest places, amongst the strangest and most unlikely company – but that has truly been the beauty of this season – encountering the unknown and the unexpected in the most unthinkable conditions.
I realize now more than ever that I am a constant work being molded in the hands of the Potter, and regardless of where I’m at, He still loves me! I don’t reckon I can ever look at people, including myself the same. I realize during this season my heart has changed a lot – but mostly my eyes have been opened, my attitude softened, and my trust laid bare, tested, and affirmed in Him. As a result, a great work in my heart was able to take root and begin the beautiful, painful process of refining and rebuilding.
internship reflection (part 3)
Looking back, my thought process during this journey was somewhat like a roller coaster. I swept around corners and was launched down deep drop-offs until finally I reached the straight away at the finish where no amount of nausea could overcome the humor I had found in the ride, or the smile that rested not only upon my face, but deep in my heart. During this internship, God has truly changed the way I think.
One of the cognitive objectives for internship is “to develop the reflective skills to think analytically about a variety of ministry situations”. I believe this statement rings true of my experience with one simple exception, I believe the statement has taken route in my life on a much broader scale, encompassing all aspects of my life woven together – with ministry as a lifestyle, not merely a job or given situation – but a fulltime way of life. As mentioned earlier, ministry has become my heartbeat – or rather, I have discovered it has always been my heartbeat, but now, through this season of internship, and the beautiful opportunities I was given, I have been able to see this part of my life unveiled.
A challenge now lies before me – to go, to serve, and to love. I never imagined I would absorb or encounter all the things I did while I was in Georgia. Every emotion, feeling, and thought I could possibly muster played a part in this ‘roller coaster’ journey. Some days it was an elating experience. Some days it was a mind boggling experience. Some days it was a treacherous and heartbreaking experience. Some days it made me sick and I wanted nothing more than to get away. Other days it made me hungry for more or left me dizzy and confused. Still other days it was downright exhausting, but most days, it was simply blessed.
Ministry is servant hood, and through this experience I have learned a lot about the importance of being flexible, and what it looks like to put others first. Honestly, this practice of putting others first is not always a fun or immediately pleasant experience, but in the end it is always very rewarding and saturated with opportunity to learn and grow. Once we become more practiced and familiar with this way of living, we begin to reap the immediate rewards because we don’t expect some grand display of satisfaction – simplicity begins to capture and delight our hearts, and as we watch others being blessed through our simple, imperfect, but wholehearted efforts, we too are blessed.
Another behavioral objective involved the idea of integrating worthwhile questions into daily conversation, basically as part of the natural flow of things. I find myself asking more intentional, useful questions, rather than simply trying to get something accomplished. I feel like I have somehow become an undercover investigator, searching adamantly for clues and important information to move forward in my life mission. If we refuse to ask questions and stick around to listen to the answers, we deny ourselves the invaluable opportunity of sifting through thoughts, perspectives, information, opinions, and even various theses.
I truly feel as though I “came into my own” over these last several months – that despite moments of loneliness and lacking fellowship, that I learned of a love much greater and intense available to me in a special way – Christ’s love. I feel as though the various opportunities I was given to assist with several ministries reminded me that we must be intentional in doing Kingdom work, and must not settle for anything less than what our heart’s potential can give.
I was exposed to varying age groups, genders, family conditions, and even religious denominations. In the South, everyone “knows Jesus”, though sadly because people seem to know Him everywhere, no one seems to care about having a relationship with Him. It was strange to move from a very cold, semi-closed climate to the Gospel, to one that was very accepting, yet unfruitful. Granted, this is not always the case, but living in an environment where the seed fell on soft ground, and grew up quickly; only to die, was a little discouraging.
This is an essential understanding to have in ministry down south – especially in regards to planting churches or even becoming part of a certain congregation. If one was to lose sight of the ultimate goal: pointing people to a living, real, intimate relationship with Christ, they would certainly be in danger of getting ‘lost in the church’. That certainly sounds like an oxymoron, yet many people week after week, trudge like prisoners, or creatures of habit to their familiar cushioned seats, in the familiar row, near strange people, and remain ‘ lost in the church’. This is often only the case with people who are still willing to go to church.
As a result of the flippant use of the term “Christian” in the south, many people do not even have to attend or even practice any form of Christian service or lifestyle to claim the title. If they attended any revival meeting and wrote down a date and time in the back of their Bible, that is all the proof they need that their eternity is secure and they are good to go. Unfortunately this has made many people closed to the True Gospel of Christ because when people claim to be Christians but live the opposite it is more destructive that rewarding. Many people are often hurt, confused, or even distracted in the process.
I quickly discovered during my learning experience, that the more intentional you are about getting into the community and learning to deal with people, the more receptive they are to Christ. Consistency is key in any form of ministry. If you are going to feed the homeless one Thursday evening, don’t make it a “one hit wonder” sort of deal. Consistency builds relationships – trust – rapport – and eventually heart connections. Do a food night every Thursday, build upon it and expose people to the living, active Word, through your conduct, your humility, your actions, your generosity, your joy, and peace.
I have come to see, it is equally as important that you remember these people outside of ‘food night’ outreaches. If you happen to wander to that same part of town on another day, there is absolutely no excuse as a message bearer of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to ignore, cold shoulder, or flee from these people. They are no different than they were on any given Thursday night, and neither should you be. They are equally as unworthy of Christ’s love as we are, and they deserve just as much of an opportunity to know Him in relationship, and to receive His gift of eternal life!
The revelation that church is to be an organic, relational, growing experience was greatly affirmed during my six months in Georgia. I quickly found, the prettier the building, the uglier the people – the uglier the building, the more genuine the people. Why is that? I can boil it down to only on thing – Pride! Pride takes beautiful things and makes them ugly because of twisted perspectives. Pride takes generosity and generates selfishness. Pride takes consistency and creates entitlement. Pride takes love and creates hate or prejudice. Pride takes a gift and demands better.
I am reminded of what James says in his epistle regarding religion that “pure and undefiled religion is this, to care for the widows and the orphans in their need” (James 1:27). No matter what form or aspect of ministry we are involved in – ultimately, we are all called to be the Church – the Bride of Christ – and we are called not to sift through people we believe worthy of receiving our love, energy, resources, or time, but to give freely just as we have received freely of all Christ has offered to us.
One of the cognitive objectives for internship is “to develop the reflective skills to think analytically about a variety of ministry situations”. I believe this statement rings true of my experience with one simple exception, I believe the statement has taken route in my life on a much broader scale, encompassing all aspects of my life woven together – with ministry as a lifestyle, not merely a job or given situation – but a fulltime way of life. As mentioned earlier, ministry has become my heartbeat – or rather, I have discovered it has always been my heartbeat, but now, through this season of internship, and the beautiful opportunities I was given, I have been able to see this part of my life unveiled.
A challenge now lies before me – to go, to serve, and to love. I never imagined I would absorb or encounter all the things I did while I was in Georgia. Every emotion, feeling, and thought I could possibly muster played a part in this ‘roller coaster’ journey. Some days it was an elating experience. Some days it was a mind boggling experience. Some days it was a treacherous and heartbreaking experience. Some days it made me sick and I wanted nothing more than to get away. Other days it made me hungry for more or left me dizzy and confused. Still other days it was downright exhausting, but most days, it was simply blessed.
Ministry is servant hood, and through this experience I have learned a lot about the importance of being flexible, and what it looks like to put others first. Honestly, this practice of putting others first is not always a fun or immediately pleasant experience, but in the end it is always very rewarding and saturated with opportunity to learn and grow. Once we become more practiced and familiar with this way of living, we begin to reap the immediate rewards because we don’t expect some grand display of satisfaction – simplicity begins to capture and delight our hearts, and as we watch others being blessed through our simple, imperfect, but wholehearted efforts, we too are blessed.
Another behavioral objective involved the idea of integrating worthwhile questions into daily conversation, basically as part of the natural flow of things. I find myself asking more intentional, useful questions, rather than simply trying to get something accomplished. I feel like I have somehow become an undercover investigator, searching adamantly for clues and important information to move forward in my life mission. If we refuse to ask questions and stick around to listen to the answers, we deny ourselves the invaluable opportunity of sifting through thoughts, perspectives, information, opinions, and even various theses.
I truly feel as though I “came into my own” over these last several months – that despite moments of loneliness and lacking fellowship, that I learned of a love much greater and intense available to me in a special way – Christ’s love. I feel as though the various opportunities I was given to assist with several ministries reminded me that we must be intentional in doing Kingdom work, and must not settle for anything less than what our heart’s potential can give.
I was exposed to varying age groups, genders, family conditions, and even religious denominations. In the South, everyone “knows Jesus”, though sadly because people seem to know Him everywhere, no one seems to care about having a relationship with Him. It was strange to move from a very cold, semi-closed climate to the Gospel, to one that was very accepting, yet unfruitful. Granted, this is not always the case, but living in an environment where the seed fell on soft ground, and grew up quickly; only to die, was a little discouraging.
This is an essential understanding to have in ministry down south – especially in regards to planting churches or even becoming part of a certain congregation. If one was to lose sight of the ultimate goal: pointing people to a living, real, intimate relationship with Christ, they would certainly be in danger of getting ‘lost in the church’. That certainly sounds like an oxymoron, yet many people week after week, trudge like prisoners, or creatures of habit to their familiar cushioned seats, in the familiar row, near strange people, and remain ‘ lost in the church’. This is often only the case with people who are still willing to go to church.
As a result of the flippant use of the term “Christian” in the south, many people do not even have to attend or even practice any form of Christian service or lifestyle to claim the title. If they attended any revival meeting and wrote down a date and time in the back of their Bible, that is all the proof they need that their eternity is secure and they are good to go. Unfortunately this has made many people closed to the True Gospel of Christ because when people claim to be Christians but live the opposite it is more destructive that rewarding. Many people are often hurt, confused, or even distracted in the process.
I quickly discovered during my learning experience, that the more intentional you are about getting into the community and learning to deal with people, the more receptive they are to Christ. Consistency is key in any form of ministry. If you are going to feed the homeless one Thursday evening, don’t make it a “one hit wonder” sort of deal. Consistency builds relationships – trust – rapport – and eventually heart connections. Do a food night every Thursday, build upon it and expose people to the living, active Word, through your conduct, your humility, your actions, your generosity, your joy, and peace.
I have come to see, it is equally as important that you remember these people outside of ‘food night’ outreaches. If you happen to wander to that same part of town on another day, there is absolutely no excuse as a message bearer of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to ignore, cold shoulder, or flee from these people. They are no different than they were on any given Thursday night, and neither should you be. They are equally as unworthy of Christ’s love as we are, and they deserve just as much of an opportunity to know Him in relationship, and to receive His gift of eternal life!
The revelation that church is to be an organic, relational, growing experience was greatly affirmed during my six months in Georgia. I quickly found, the prettier the building, the uglier the people – the uglier the building, the more genuine the people. Why is that? I can boil it down to only on thing – Pride! Pride takes beautiful things and makes them ugly because of twisted perspectives. Pride takes generosity and generates selfishness. Pride takes consistency and creates entitlement. Pride takes love and creates hate or prejudice. Pride takes a gift and demands better.
I am reminded of what James says in his epistle regarding religion that “pure and undefiled religion is this, to care for the widows and the orphans in their need” (James 1:27). No matter what form or aspect of ministry we are involved in – ultimately, we are all called to be the Church – the Bride of Christ – and we are called not to sift through people we believe worthy of receiving our love, energy, resources, or time, but to give freely just as we have received freely of all Christ has offered to us.
internship reflection (part 4)
Now let’s reflect on some of the ministries I was involved with during my time in Macon. It is important to note the expectations I once had in coming to my internship. As situations unfolded, doors of opportunity were closed, and I was faced with the task of hunting down other potential doors to knock on. These are ultimately the ones that opened and influenced the changes I unraveled above.
Camp Pathway
Camp Pathway is a summer day camp program run for nine weeks throughout the course of the summer months in Georgia. Camp Pathway ministers to a variety of unique children – both boys and girls from the ages of five to twelve. With the addition of the CIT Leadership Program this summer, to which I was the advisor, we were able to extend our ministry potential to a small group of teenagers (ages 13-14) as part of a mentoring effort. Campers arrive anytime Monday –Friday between the hours of 7-9am (pre-camp) and head home between the hours of 4-6pm (post-camp). Our regular operating hours are between 9am-4pm allowing us the opportunity to spend the majority of the day with our campers.
Throughout the day, campers participate in a unique variety of activities including circle meets where we share devotional times at the beginning and end of the day, as well as Bible classes, arts n’ crafts, recreational games, challenge course sessions, and everyone’s favorite, swim time or canoeing on the pond. Sharing lunchtimes under the pavilion allows counselors to build relationships with campers in various camper groups, as we foster a great community of unity and fun at Camp Pathway.
Throughout the summer, I had a special opportunity to work solely with a group of 9-10 teenagers in the CIT or Counselors in Training Leadership Program. This opportunity was basically created with the intention of training up teen leaders with the potential of eventually taking roles as junior and senior counselors at Camp Pathway and being able to pour into campers, just as they themselves were poured into during their time as campers.
We spent the first four weeks of camp going on field trips, fostering a solid teamwork mentality (which was a challenge at times), and having classes in our very own, CIT room. I was given a basic skeleton of material to work with, and then filled in the rest with supplemental information worth teaching. I planned to teach roughly two hours a day, or ultimately ten hours a week. Sometimes this task was absolutely daunting, but most the time it allowed me to connect with each CIT on an individual or more personal basis.
Part of our CIT Leadership also involved community service projects, so my group of teens undertook a food drive project with the local radio station 13WMAZ, and thanks to the generous donations we collected from campers and parents, we were able to receive a tour inside the news studio and with the various reporters. This was certainly a special opportunity for me, but I know my CITs were blown away with how a simple act of service gave them a great opportunity to explore something new as well. We also began working with Morningside Assisted Living facility where we had the opportunity to interact with the elderly in our community playing BINGO and eating banana splits. Everyone loved these days!
Perhaps the one thing I pulled away from this whole experience of advising the CIT Leadership program is something Prez shared with us numerous times in PLC, “You cannot lead someone to a place you yourself have not been to yet”. I realized more than ever more that all the experiences I have had with leadership, teaching, etc, at Bethany all played an important role in enabling me to connect with the group of teens I was mentoring. This was not always an easy task, and sometimes I felt so helpless I wanted nothing more than to cry.
I also learned that I cannot lead alone. This is a humbling reality, but it was important for me to chew on, and to ponder, because I quickly realized not having a partner to lead this group of teens with, sometimes limited the effect I was able to have – especially with the young men. I felt if they would have had an opportunity to connect with a young adult male, their experience may have been more holistic, as well as my girls. Had they been able to see me interacting with a young man, they might have been able to catch a picture of how male/female partnerships should work – without the worldly standards or expectations looming over our interactions.
Hephzibah Children’s Home (recreation department)
Administratively, experiencing the inner workings of Hephzibah was important to the shaping of my opinion and perspective of ministry organizations like this. I learned quickly that things are not always as they may appear, and sometimes we have to search a little deeper, and push a little harder to see change take place amongst resistant parties. Operating the gym was somewhat of a familiar experience, although when my supervisor was away for a few months this gave me a lot of extra responsibility in assisting with rentals and general management, I never initially expected. I grew close with the recreation staff and they truly were my support system and greatest allies during this internship adventure.
Camp Pathway
Camp Pathway is a summer day camp program run for nine weeks throughout the course of the summer months in Georgia. Camp Pathway ministers to a variety of unique children – both boys and girls from the ages of five to twelve. With the addition of the CIT Leadership Program this summer, to which I was the advisor, we were able to extend our ministry potential to a small group of teenagers (ages 13-14) as part of a mentoring effort. Campers arrive anytime Monday –Friday between the hours of 7-9am (pre-camp) and head home between the hours of 4-6pm (post-camp). Our regular operating hours are between 9am-4pm allowing us the opportunity to spend the majority of the day with our campers.
Throughout the day, campers participate in a unique variety of activities including circle meets where we share devotional times at the beginning and end of the day, as well as Bible classes, arts n’ crafts, recreational games, challenge course sessions, and everyone’s favorite, swim time or canoeing on the pond. Sharing lunchtimes under the pavilion allows counselors to build relationships with campers in various camper groups, as we foster a great community of unity and fun at Camp Pathway.
Throughout the summer, I had a special opportunity to work solely with a group of 9-10 teenagers in the CIT or Counselors in Training Leadership Program. This opportunity was basically created with the intention of training up teen leaders with the potential of eventually taking roles as junior and senior counselors at Camp Pathway and being able to pour into campers, just as they themselves were poured into during their time as campers.
We spent the first four weeks of camp going on field trips, fostering a solid teamwork mentality (which was a challenge at times), and having classes in our very own, CIT room. I was given a basic skeleton of material to work with, and then filled in the rest with supplemental information worth teaching. I planned to teach roughly two hours a day, or ultimately ten hours a week. Sometimes this task was absolutely daunting, but most the time it allowed me to connect with each CIT on an individual or more personal basis.
Part of our CIT Leadership also involved community service projects, so my group of teens undertook a food drive project with the local radio station 13WMAZ, and thanks to the generous donations we collected from campers and parents, we were able to receive a tour inside the news studio and with the various reporters. This was certainly a special opportunity for me, but I know my CITs were blown away with how a simple act of service gave them a great opportunity to explore something new as well. We also began working with Morningside Assisted Living facility where we had the opportunity to interact with the elderly in our community playing BINGO and eating banana splits. Everyone loved these days!
Perhaps the one thing I pulled away from this whole experience of advising the CIT Leadership program is something Prez shared with us numerous times in PLC, “You cannot lead someone to a place you yourself have not been to yet”. I realized more than ever more that all the experiences I have had with leadership, teaching, etc, at Bethany all played an important role in enabling me to connect with the group of teens I was mentoring. This was not always an easy task, and sometimes I felt so helpless I wanted nothing more than to cry.
I also learned that I cannot lead alone. This is a humbling reality, but it was important for me to chew on, and to ponder, because I quickly realized not having a partner to lead this group of teens with, sometimes limited the effect I was able to have – especially with the young men. I felt if they would have had an opportunity to connect with a young adult male, their experience may have been more holistic, as well as my girls. Had they been able to see me interacting with a young man, they might have been able to catch a picture of how male/female partnerships should work – without the worldly standards or expectations looming over our interactions.
Hephzibah Children’s Home (recreation department)
Administratively, experiencing the inner workings of Hephzibah was important to the shaping of my opinion and perspective of ministry organizations like this. I learned quickly that things are not always as they may appear, and sometimes we have to search a little deeper, and push a little harder to see change take place amongst resistant parties. Operating the gym was somewhat of a familiar experience, although when my supervisor was away for a few months this gave me a lot of extra responsibility in assisting with rentals and general management, I never initially expected. I grew close with the recreation staff and they truly were my support system and greatest allies during this internship adventure.
internship reflection (part 5)
The Macon Rescue Mission
One of the doors of opportunity that swung wide open was at the Dove Center, downtown, as part of the Macon Rescue Mission. It was here that my heart was truly burdened for women and children in a way like never before. In my heart it was affirmed how much we as human beings, especially long for love. We were created for love, and somehow because we are fallen, we often leave relationships, or experiences feeling less than unloved. It’s quite horrible and destructive – hence the fruit I saw from the relationships of these women at the mission.
Domestic violence was present in each and every one of these women’s lives, and many of them lived off the system, struggling to make ends meet. Court and custody battles, as well as food stamps were as common to these women as a local paperboy’s news route. Somehow, despite all the craziness of these women’s lives, they opened their hearts up to me – testing that trust just one more time – and allowed me to be a part of what they were going through. They shared stories of people they loved and trusted utterly betraying them – of the shame and neglect they felt from losing their children to abusers or the system.
Many of the women unveiled drug addictions, past cases of abuse, and daily battles with mental illness. Entering the center was like going to a different world. It opened my eyes and my heart to the ‘lost’ and ‘broken’, the ‘weary hearted’ and the ‘captives’. In my heart the Lord somehow made a place for these beautiful sisters. They delighted in my coming, and I felt so honored that they would want anything to do with me.
I realize now it was not necessarily me that they wanted or were excited to have, but rather it was the Light, the Love which I carried to them – the Freedom, Hope, and Peace that surrounded my heart, and reached out gently for theirs as well. We truly are bearers of Light – and we shine, whether we realize it or not. This truth completely rocked my world as numerous times in Georgia people told me my face was glowing or shining. When we have an encounter with the Living God, we cannot help but shine for Him, and people see the Light – those seemingly most fallen somehow seem to be the least blind, and the most hungry for it, so they are drawn to it. Praise God!
Working with these women completely shook up my comfort – it prepared me to believe for big things – and allowed me to confront the torment of mental illness first hand. Realizing that there were almost always children involved made the ministry here that much tougher. I was reminded numerous times just how easy it is for people, how comfortable to naturally minister to kids. Kids are accepting, easy to please, and completely lovable. Adults are often a different story. The Lord gave me a unique burden for these women, a burden which extended beyond identifying them simply as the moms of the kids at the center. These women became like sisters to me – sisters I hurt for, cried for, prayed for, and looked forward to seeing. Serving them gave me a mindset of service I’d never quite thought of like this before. I was totally blown away.
Here is a copy of a write up I did for the Mission’s monthly newsletter after a unique ministry opportunity at the local Domestic Violence Awareness Conference:
Reflection on “Refuge” at DVA Conference – by: Christy Zbylut (intern)
Several weeks before Lizzie Chapel’s Domestic Violence Conference Mrs. Renee approached me about arranging a skit. I told the Lord if He truly wanted me to follow through with this, I needed Him to inspire me with a vision of the skit within my heart – and He came through faithfully. The song Refuge composed and written by Elizabeth Rhyno would be our music, and a series of words would help silently portray the testimonies of these women’s lives. I realized that through simplicity – the hearts of these women I work with on a weekly basis – the hearts that have long bore the burden and pain of domestic violence in their own lives would be the most powerful tool in portraying a message of healing at this conference. Through their brokenness, I began to understand how the Lord’s power to heal, restore, and bring light to things once caught up and entangled in secret, darkness, and shame would resound!
In some ways I am completely blown away as I look back at the conference. The vulnerability and freedom, with which these women approached this opportunity to publically display the reality of their ‘scarlet letter’ but also to declare the much greater mark of Christ upon their hearts, broke me. This skit and opportunity to share their “lives” with others gave each one of the women a special purpose! The Holy Spirit was so sweet and peaceful in that place. People were weeping, smiling, standing. I didn't watch them as I played - but simply smiled and sang my little heart out - but I saw people after, and they shared their hearts of how the Holy Spirit had moved them - they said the song was anointed and blessed their hearts immensely.
My favorite part was seeing how alive all the ladies from our mission looked - they were smiling, wiping tears from their eyes as we sat back down - but mostly their eyes were dancing!!! God used them to minister truth and healing to the hearts of those at the conference - I just know it. I could feel it! The women really moved my heart when they said afterward, "This isn't just a skit to us you know...this is our lives!" They are so right too --- stomped on by the world and people, but raised to life in Christ - these beautiful, recovering, hungry sisters of mine are walking down the healing path to Christ's feet day by day growing a little stronger, a little more joyful, a little more free - a little more alive! It is truly magnificent!
At the end of the conference we were invited back to minister a second time at their Domestic Violence Concert on Monday evening. I could hardly begin to comprehend what the Lord was doing to us all in using a group of weak vessels to promote His message of truth! Grace for All Families
Working with Grace for All Families exposed me to the clinical side of counseling, and allowed me to work directly under the tutorship/mentorship of a Licensed Christian Counselor, specializing in Marriage and Family Therapy, Mrs. Jennifer Ransom. GFAF allowed me the opportunity to spend one on one time with a woman older than myself pursuing a career in the field I have been studying for four years. Mrs. Jennifer did a phenomenal job investing her time and wisdom to me, and kept a teachable attitude herself during the process. I was surprised many times when she would mention having learned or been refreshed by a thought I shared.
Here I was able to delve into the beautiful, sometimes antsy practice of waiting, listening, and observing. I realized through this time that I am a very active person with creative ideas and motives. Basically, what it all boils down to is, I have a hard time sitting still. I never had a solid understanding of this before sitting through various counseling situations, but the revelation allowed me to adapt accordingly and to have a clearer understanding of what my life passion, or heartbeat may entail. I was able to share the testimony of God’s restoring work in my family with numerous clients, and to speak life into darkened situations.
I was often humbled and blown away by the opportunities I had to interact with clients, and how receptive they were to what the Lord was speaking through me. I was reminded daily during these occurrences, that it had nothing to do with me, I am merely a vessel and as I am obedient in allowing the Holy Spirit to speak through me – beautiful things happen – hearts are changed, chains are broken, and people are refreshed. I also learned the importance of not sitting idly, but rather taking opportunities of simply observing and listening to pray for clients, to intercede on their behalf. Mrs. Jennifer always made it a priority for us to pray before and when able, after sessions. This process once again refined, solidified, and exposed me to greater moments of viewing the Lord’s people through new lenses – and using this sight for His glory.
Morningside Assisted Living Facility
Volunteering throughout the summer with my CITs opened up doorways to return several times throughout the fall to visit with and minister to the elderly residents of Morningside. It was in this place that laughter and joy danced down every hallway. It was in this place that I was reminded of the beauty of a child-like faith, and the importance of loving everyone equally. These residents selflessly interacted with one another daily, and loved socializing. They were perfectly content in sitting together over a milkshake and telling old stories of falling in love, riding around in classic cars, and growing up.
They affirmed my heart for missions work, and delighted in the simplest of things. They were always up for a challenge, and were unashamed of looking foolish or silly. Many of them would dance or wear a pair of crazy glasses at a moment’s notice, and though their bodies were frail, their hearts exploded with love and kindness. I saw a lot of love in these people – and a lot of joy I’d like to carry with me into my elderly years. I often wondered, “Which one of these residents will I most resemble when I get to this point in life?”
One of the doors of opportunity that swung wide open was at the Dove Center, downtown, as part of the Macon Rescue Mission. It was here that my heart was truly burdened for women and children in a way like never before. In my heart it was affirmed how much we as human beings, especially long for love. We were created for love, and somehow because we are fallen, we often leave relationships, or experiences feeling less than unloved. It’s quite horrible and destructive – hence the fruit I saw from the relationships of these women at the mission.
Domestic violence was present in each and every one of these women’s lives, and many of them lived off the system, struggling to make ends meet. Court and custody battles, as well as food stamps were as common to these women as a local paperboy’s news route. Somehow, despite all the craziness of these women’s lives, they opened their hearts up to me – testing that trust just one more time – and allowed me to be a part of what they were going through. They shared stories of people they loved and trusted utterly betraying them – of the shame and neglect they felt from losing their children to abusers or the system.
Many of the women unveiled drug addictions, past cases of abuse, and daily battles with mental illness. Entering the center was like going to a different world. It opened my eyes and my heart to the ‘lost’ and ‘broken’, the ‘weary hearted’ and the ‘captives’. In my heart the Lord somehow made a place for these beautiful sisters. They delighted in my coming, and I felt so honored that they would want anything to do with me.
I realize now it was not necessarily me that they wanted or were excited to have, but rather it was the Light, the Love which I carried to them – the Freedom, Hope, and Peace that surrounded my heart, and reached out gently for theirs as well. We truly are bearers of Light – and we shine, whether we realize it or not. This truth completely rocked my world as numerous times in Georgia people told me my face was glowing or shining. When we have an encounter with the Living God, we cannot help but shine for Him, and people see the Light – those seemingly most fallen somehow seem to be the least blind, and the most hungry for it, so they are drawn to it. Praise God!
Working with these women completely shook up my comfort – it prepared me to believe for big things – and allowed me to confront the torment of mental illness first hand. Realizing that there were almost always children involved made the ministry here that much tougher. I was reminded numerous times just how easy it is for people, how comfortable to naturally minister to kids. Kids are accepting, easy to please, and completely lovable. Adults are often a different story. The Lord gave me a unique burden for these women, a burden which extended beyond identifying them simply as the moms of the kids at the center. These women became like sisters to me – sisters I hurt for, cried for, prayed for, and looked forward to seeing. Serving them gave me a mindset of service I’d never quite thought of like this before. I was totally blown away.
Here is a copy of a write up I did for the Mission’s monthly newsletter after a unique ministry opportunity at the local Domestic Violence Awareness Conference:
Reflection on “Refuge” at DVA Conference – by: Christy Zbylut (intern)
Several weeks before Lizzie Chapel’s Domestic Violence Conference Mrs. Renee approached me about arranging a skit. I told the Lord if He truly wanted me to follow through with this, I needed Him to inspire me with a vision of the skit within my heart – and He came through faithfully. The song Refuge composed and written by Elizabeth Rhyno would be our music, and a series of words would help silently portray the testimonies of these women’s lives. I realized that through simplicity – the hearts of these women I work with on a weekly basis – the hearts that have long bore the burden and pain of domestic violence in their own lives would be the most powerful tool in portraying a message of healing at this conference. Through their brokenness, I began to understand how the Lord’s power to heal, restore, and bring light to things once caught up and entangled in secret, darkness, and shame would resound!
In some ways I am completely blown away as I look back at the conference. The vulnerability and freedom, with which these women approached this opportunity to publically display the reality of their ‘scarlet letter’ but also to declare the much greater mark of Christ upon their hearts, broke me. This skit and opportunity to share their “lives” with others gave each one of the women a special purpose! The Holy Spirit was so sweet and peaceful in that place. People were weeping, smiling, standing. I didn't watch them as I played - but simply smiled and sang my little heart out - but I saw people after, and they shared their hearts of how the Holy Spirit had moved them - they said the song was anointed and blessed their hearts immensely.
My favorite part was seeing how alive all the ladies from our mission looked - they were smiling, wiping tears from their eyes as we sat back down - but mostly their eyes were dancing!!! God used them to minister truth and healing to the hearts of those at the conference - I just know it. I could feel it! The women really moved my heart when they said afterward, "This isn't just a skit to us you know...this is our lives!" They are so right too --- stomped on by the world and people, but raised to life in Christ - these beautiful, recovering, hungry sisters of mine are walking down the healing path to Christ's feet day by day growing a little stronger, a little more joyful, a little more free - a little more alive! It is truly magnificent!
At the end of the conference we were invited back to minister a second time at their Domestic Violence Concert on Monday evening. I could hardly begin to comprehend what the Lord was doing to us all in using a group of weak vessels to promote His message of truth! Grace for All Families
Working with Grace for All Families exposed me to the clinical side of counseling, and allowed me to work directly under the tutorship/mentorship of a Licensed Christian Counselor, specializing in Marriage and Family Therapy, Mrs. Jennifer Ransom. GFAF allowed me the opportunity to spend one on one time with a woman older than myself pursuing a career in the field I have been studying for four years. Mrs. Jennifer did a phenomenal job investing her time and wisdom to me, and kept a teachable attitude herself during the process. I was surprised many times when she would mention having learned or been refreshed by a thought I shared.
Here I was able to delve into the beautiful, sometimes antsy practice of waiting, listening, and observing. I realized through this time that I am a very active person with creative ideas and motives. Basically, what it all boils down to is, I have a hard time sitting still. I never had a solid understanding of this before sitting through various counseling situations, but the revelation allowed me to adapt accordingly and to have a clearer understanding of what my life passion, or heartbeat may entail. I was able to share the testimony of God’s restoring work in my family with numerous clients, and to speak life into darkened situations.
I was often humbled and blown away by the opportunities I had to interact with clients, and how receptive they were to what the Lord was speaking through me. I was reminded daily during these occurrences, that it had nothing to do with me, I am merely a vessel and as I am obedient in allowing the Holy Spirit to speak through me – beautiful things happen – hearts are changed, chains are broken, and people are refreshed. I also learned the importance of not sitting idly, but rather taking opportunities of simply observing and listening to pray for clients, to intercede on their behalf. Mrs. Jennifer always made it a priority for us to pray before and when able, after sessions. This process once again refined, solidified, and exposed me to greater moments of viewing the Lord’s people through new lenses – and using this sight for His glory.
Morningside Assisted Living Facility
Volunteering throughout the summer with my CITs opened up doorways to return several times throughout the fall to visit with and minister to the elderly residents of Morningside. It was in this place that laughter and joy danced down every hallway. It was in this place that I was reminded of the beauty of a child-like faith, and the importance of loving everyone equally. These residents selflessly interacted with one another daily, and loved socializing. They were perfectly content in sitting together over a milkshake and telling old stories of falling in love, riding around in classic cars, and growing up.
They affirmed my heart for missions work, and delighted in the simplest of things. They were always up for a challenge, and were unashamed of looking foolish or silly. Many of them would dance or wear a pair of crazy glasses at a moment’s notice, and though their bodies were frail, their hearts exploded with love and kindness. I saw a lot of love in these people – and a lot of joy I’d like to carry with me into my elderly years. I often wondered, “Which one of these residents will I most resemble when I get to this point in life?”
internship reflection (part 6)
Overall, I believe I met the bulk of the internship objectives set before me, in ways I never imagined would be possible or even a part of my experience. I simply cannot sum it up any better than admitting, “I have been changed”. On internship, I discovered my heartbeat, and my life now longs to dance and move to the intense beat and rhythm which it produces.
My college mentor Prez spoke these words to me at the end of my internship, “Christy, you know there are a lot of things you could be doing – but there’s something you ought to be doing. When you live doing that very thing you ought to be doing, you will know without a doubt that you are in the center of God’s will.” I believe with all my heart that my internship was necessary in this season of my life to discover what I ought to be doing – living out my heartbeat.
My college mentor Prez spoke these words to me at the end of my internship, “Christy, you know there are a lot of things you could be doing – but there’s something you ought to be doing. When you live doing that very thing you ought to be doing, you will know without a doubt that you are in the center of God’s will.” I believe with all my heart that my internship was necessary in this season of my life to discover what I ought to be doing – living out my heartbeat.
Friday, December 11, 2009
growing up: friendships
I realize as the years wear on that friendships are always, always important.
It's amazing what a few years - seasons - ideas - directions will take you - but looking back - you'll always remember those times you were with your friends.
I had the privilege of attending the BBC Christmas banquet this year - and in doing so, my dear friend Sarah and I decided to scheme up a little waltz back to memory lane. Below are two photos from this year - followed by two photos from 2007...we've
GROWN UP a lot in the last two years. It's quite remarkable to think about.
It's amazing what a few years - seasons - ideas - directions will take you - but looking back - you'll always remember those times you were with your friends.
I had the privilege of attending the BBC Christmas banquet this year - and in doing so, my dear friend Sarah and I decided to scheme up a little waltz back to memory lane. Below are two photos from this year - followed by two photos from 2007...we've
GROWN UP a lot in the last two years. It's quite remarkable to think about.
Friday, December 04, 2009
l i f e
I've wondered recently: What's in a life? Is it the beating of a heart? The echo of a voice? The warmth of an embrace? Perhaps the creases of a smile, or laughter straight from the gut...
After having a conversation with a young teenager who recently received news she is pregnant and was contemplating an abortion - God provided an opportunity to discuss the importance of choosing 'life' for this baby. She was receptive and my heart rejoiced. Encouraging her to be open and honest with her parents - the situation turned out much different than I planned, but I had hope that all would soon be well. I learned this afternoon that her parents want her to get an abortion as well.
These are my thoughts after reflecting on these circumstances heavy on my heart. I've had to come to grips in my spirit today with the Lord that no matter what, He is still good, and He is still God - NO MATTER WHAT. (Let's just be completely honest here, that's tough to comprehend. My heart wants nothings more than to weep at the thought.)
Life...
so precious yet so fleeting
such a process yet full of the unexpected
so busy yet so blessed
such a purpose yet so forgotten
so beautiful yet so perplexing.
Life...
a gift to some, an entitlement to others
an adventure to some, a jail to others
a great discovery to some, a waste of time to others.
Life is precious, lest we ever forget.
We only have one - we must take it and live.
If we journey beside the One who made us His prize -
We are sure to find, what is knit deep inside,
but if we journey alone, trouble surely shall mount -
on hearts once filled with wonder, now deadened with doubt.
Behold oh life - the Breathe which is Divine,
breathed on Thee that you might find -
The way to the Master is carefully carved,
Purposed to worship, and joy in His Life.
For He offered Himself, so we too might live,
Forever with Christ dwelling, instead of in sin.
Life is stunning, for its Creator is stunning...God is stunning!
After having a conversation with a young teenager who recently received news she is pregnant and was contemplating an abortion - God provided an opportunity to discuss the importance of choosing 'life' for this baby. She was receptive and my heart rejoiced. Encouraging her to be open and honest with her parents - the situation turned out much different than I planned, but I had hope that all would soon be well. I learned this afternoon that her parents want her to get an abortion as well.
These are my thoughts after reflecting on these circumstances heavy on my heart. I've had to come to grips in my spirit today with the Lord that no matter what, He is still good, and He is still God - NO MATTER WHAT. (Let's just be completely honest here, that's tough to comprehend. My heart wants nothings more than to weep at the thought.)
Life...
so precious yet so fleeting
such a process yet full of the unexpected
so busy yet so blessed
such a purpose yet so forgotten
so beautiful yet so perplexing.
Life...
a gift to some, an entitlement to others
an adventure to some, a jail to others
a great discovery to some, a waste of time to others.
Life is precious, lest we ever forget.
We only have one - we must take it and live.
If we journey beside the One who made us His prize -
We are sure to find, what is knit deep inside,
but if we journey alone, trouble surely shall mount -
on hearts once filled with wonder, now deadened with doubt.
Behold oh life - the Breathe which is Divine,
breathed on Thee that you might find -
The way to the Master is carefully carved,
Purposed to worship, and joy in His Life.
For He offered Himself, so we too might live,
Forever with Christ dwelling, instead of in sin.
Life is stunning, for its Creator is stunning...God is stunning!
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
a few last things in Georgia
We decorated the recreation office/gym for the holidays...
painted the biggest picture of my life...
began saying a few goodbyes...
and spent an afternoon on the Challenge course to soak up some final Georgia fun in the sun!
Monday, November 30, 2009
family
So many stories left yet untold
So many hearts broken by secrets that mold
Generation after generation the curse trudges on
Til' someone with boldness turns their brilliant light on
It feels like a fight -
for a great battle shall ensure -
souls are at stake - and darkness presses hard.
"Fear not my child, I'm with you always,
I know every thought, and every tear I see.
Fear not my child, I'm with you always,
I know how to care for what belongs to me..."
Left to our own, we shall certainly fail,
Yet in the hands of our Father is peace like no other.
His yoke is easy, and His burden is light -
We can always trust - for us He shall fight.
For when vict'ry is won in the heart of a man,
all Heaven rejoices, and dances, and sings!
Families these days are far from perfect -
Broken, lost and weary - destructive - we forfeit.
Though battered and bruised,
worn and crazy we come -
there is hope in the Father - Who rises above!
Our identity is not in these generational things -
but in the One who created us to simply BE!
(a poem by: C.Zbylut 11/23/2009)
So many hearts broken by secrets that mold
Generation after generation the curse trudges on
Til' someone with boldness turns their brilliant light on
It feels like a fight -
for a great battle shall ensure -
souls are at stake - and darkness presses hard.
"Fear not my child, I'm with you always,
I know every thought, and every tear I see.
Fear not my child, I'm with you always,
I know how to care for what belongs to me..."
Left to our own, we shall certainly fail,
Yet in the hands of our Father is peace like no other.
His yoke is easy, and His burden is light -
We can always trust - for us He shall fight.
For when vict'ry is won in the heart of a man,
all Heaven rejoices, and dances, and sings!
Families these days are far from perfect -
Broken, lost and weary - destructive - we forfeit.
Though battered and bruised,
worn and crazy we come -
there is hope in the Father - Who rises above!
Our identity is not in these generational things -
but in the One who created us to simply BE!
(a poem by: C.Zbylut 11/23/2009)
Saturday, November 28, 2009
from indy to connecticut in a day...
Driving is always an adventure...especially when you are very tired, and have to drive ALL day longs.
On our way home from Thanksgiving time in Indiana with my grandparents - we crossed many types of terrain...boring farmland - all brown and prepped for winter's covering...mountains and hills, and valleys...streams...lakes...foggy mountains...rivers...etc.
Here are some special things Weiz (my littlest sister and car buddy) saw:
- 4 deer running in a field
- a rainbow
- a city's lights at the base of a brilliant mountain we were descending
- West Point campus in New York
- 7 more deer grazing in a field
- an Omish clothes line
- a man with sweet sideburns consuming the entirety of his face
(though he was likely in his late 40s, he looked like Zac Effron)
- a sunrise
- a sunset
Sometimes we miss things where we're in the hustle and bustle of our days --- but what unique discoveries can be made when we simply watch and wait!
On our way home from Thanksgiving time in Indiana with my grandparents - we crossed many types of terrain...boring farmland - all brown and prepped for winter's covering...mountains and hills, and valleys...streams...lakes...foggy mountains...rivers...etc.
Here are some special things Weiz (my littlest sister and car buddy) saw:
- 4 deer running in a field
- a rainbow
- a city's lights at the base of a brilliant mountain we were descending
- West Point campus in New York
- 7 more deer grazing in a field
- an Omish clothes line
- a man with sweet sideburns consuming the entirety of his face
(though he was likely in his late 40s, he looked like Zac Effron)
- a sunrise
- a sunset
Sometimes we miss things where we're in the hustle and bustle of our days --- but what unique discoveries can be made when we simply watch and wait!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
a birthday date
It was a dark morning - 2:30 am came quickly as I merged onto I-16 heading east toward Hilton Head Island. My goal and destination were one in the same - get to the beach in time to catch a beautiful birthday sunrise over the ocean. My mission was a success and the artistry stunning. God even had 3-4 big dolphins playing not far out from the shore. I squealed with delight at this special treat. I was amazed that a birthday date day could be quite so special.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
perfect love casts out all fear
(A simple description of a recent experience in my heart:)
Freedom at last!
Fully free!
Beauty
unfailing Love
overflowing Love
overwhelming Love
worship
restlessness
blockage
stirring
confronting
anointing
deliverance
emptying
filling with LOVE
peace
joy
REST
empowered
perfected in Love!
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love."
- 1 John 4:18
Freedom at last!
Fully free!
Beauty
unfailing Love
overflowing Love
overwhelming Love
worship
restlessness
blockage
stirring
confronting
anointing
deliverance
emptying
filling with LOVE
peace
joy
REST
empowered
perfected in Love!
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love."
- 1 John 4:18
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
torn
The other night I was hurting,
but I did not find you there.
The other night I was hurting,
on the brink of great despair.
Sometimes I wish and wonder -
and I find my heart wants more.
Sometimes I'm lost and wondering
amongst the raging storm.
A simple plastic smile is all it takes
to turn the questions away -
but no one seemed to wonder -
just how I cared today.
Behold the beauty of wonders untold.
This life has nothing and I feel quite alone.
I realize I am not my own...
and that is where I die.
Yet sure enough I find my breath,
and in Christ I am ALIVE!!!!!!
but I did not find you there.
The other night I was hurting,
on the brink of great despair.
Sometimes I wish and wonder -
and I find my heart wants more.
Sometimes I'm lost and wondering
amongst the raging storm.
A simple plastic smile is all it takes
to turn the questions away -
but no one seemed to wonder -
just how I cared today.
Behold the beauty of wonders untold.
This life has nothing and I feel quite alone.
I realize I am not my own...
and that is where I die.
Yet sure enough I find my breath,
and in Christ I am ALIVE!!!!!!
Sunday, November 01, 2009
awakening
Do you ever feel distracted?
Perhaps you'd rather classify is as being 'pre-occupied' or maybe even 'busy'.
I realized the other night how easy it is to get caught in the 'flow' of a schedule, responsibility, or lifestyle and to forget we're not always supposed to float down the river - part of our training in this life includes seasons where we have to prepare and be strengthened - seasons where we must swim against the flow to reach our destination.
There are things to be learned from everything.
All we must do is stop for a moment - reflect, consider, observe.
I find it most interesting how God often uses these "swimming upstream moments", these struggles, these difficult, stretching, painful moments to teach us most. Why? Sometimes we get so caught up in floating we forget to think. It's easy - it's natural - it's comfortable...
but we're not called to be comfortable.
The journey may be exhausting - it may leave you breathless at times - it may be a fight - it may be a struggle - it may be risky - but remember the hope we work toward - a hope that is greater than any struggle - and so very worth the work in getting there.
As an athlete I can relate to this analogy or picture of exhausting myself physically - as a student exhausting myself mentally - as a Christian exhausting myself spiritually - as a young woman and human being, exhausting myself emotionally - but God doesn't call us to be EXHAUSTED. Yes, the fight in itself may be exhausting - but consider the rest when you reach that bank upstream - consider the refreshing, rejuvenating sunshine that awaits you as you breath deeply on the rocks - glancing downstream from where you've just come. Consider the sense of reward, and the growth involved in the exhausting, risky, breathtaking swim you just completed.
Don't forget there will be more of these to come - but for now...just rest in Him - and rejoice in the strength He has offered to get you this far!
Perhaps you'd rather classify is as being 'pre-occupied' or maybe even 'busy'.
I realized the other night how easy it is to get caught in the 'flow' of a schedule, responsibility, or lifestyle and to forget we're not always supposed to float down the river - part of our training in this life includes seasons where we have to prepare and be strengthened - seasons where we must swim against the flow to reach our destination.
There are things to be learned from everything.
All we must do is stop for a moment - reflect, consider, observe.
I find it most interesting how God often uses these "swimming upstream moments", these struggles, these difficult, stretching, painful moments to teach us most. Why? Sometimes we get so caught up in floating we forget to think. It's easy - it's natural - it's comfortable...
but we're not called to be comfortable.
The journey may be exhausting - it may leave you breathless at times - it may be a fight - it may be a struggle - it may be risky - but remember the hope we work toward - a hope that is greater than any struggle - and so very worth the work in getting there.
As an athlete I can relate to this analogy or picture of exhausting myself physically - as a student exhausting myself mentally - as a Christian exhausting myself spiritually - as a young woman and human being, exhausting myself emotionally - but God doesn't call us to be EXHAUSTED. Yes, the fight in itself may be exhausting - but consider the rest when you reach that bank upstream - consider the refreshing, rejuvenating sunshine that awaits you as you breath deeply on the rocks - glancing downstream from where you've just come. Consider the sense of reward, and the growth involved in the exhausting, risky, breathtaking swim you just completed.
Don't forget there will be more of these to come - but for now...just rest in Him - and rejoice in the strength He has offered to get you this far!
Monday, October 26, 2009
tough to swallow
(Reflections from my internship journal last Tuesday)
When I first arrived at the rescue mission I arrived with the assumption that I would be dealing with younger women but have since discovered we mainly receive a broad range of middle-aged women. I assumed this was the typical standard despite the information I have learned along the course of my being involved with the rescue mission about domestic violence. Domestic violence does not discriminate in any way amongst social class, age, race, or income level. It can happen to anyone. Reflecting on my experience today at the mission, I realize the reality of that statement hit me hard – not necessarily even in the heart. I feel like I was punched in the throat with horrifying information I could hardly swallow.
I noticed we had a new lady with us and she appeared to be significantly younger than the other ladies. Her eyes were dark with a story she seemed unwilling to tell, but she was pleasant as the ladies introduced her to me. Her first question was regarding my age. “How old are you?” she inquired. “Oh, I’m 21.” I replied giggling a little. She seemed intrigued as she replied in a dull tone, “I’m 19.” When I put this together with my initial assumption, I could hardly speak, let alone swallow. My mind immediately wandered to a million possibilities and questions of how in the world this girl ever ended up in a mission as a result of domestic violence. Obviously considering the criteria for entrance into the facility – the situation must have been significant and bad for her to be admitted by a DFAX agency to come here in the first place.
Honestly, I didn’t know what to do with myself at this point. I continued talking with the ladies as she retreated to her room – but I felt helpless, shocked, and emotionally overwhelmed. I guess the harsh reality of domestic violence really sunk in for me today. I have been broken for these women on numerous occasions, and every step of progress causes my heart to rejoice and celebrate, but something about her was different, chilling almost. I felt like it hit too close to home – someone my own age – someone on the brink of adulthood, hurting this badly and I couldn’t do a thing about it. This young lady has her whole life ahead of her, and already she has encountered devastation and demolition on the grounds of her heart she never deserved.
I later discovered a little more of her story – which made it all the more horrifying for me to process. Perhaps it was the way she spoke – with fear and annoyance of being at the mission or perhaps it was her expression of frustration and helplessness considering the situation she is currently in that hit me hard. After an evening session with Dr. Kemper I came to understand that she was raised in a home with two alcoholic parents. She left home when she was fourteen and got married to her boyfriend. She’s worked ever since then earning money and making her own way in this world without any adult supervision, support, or guidance.
Their marriage lasted two years, until he cheated on her at the age of sixteen. She explained that “things simply didn’t work out” so I got divorced just before I turned seventeen. As if this wasn’t enough to comprehend and swallow, she added to her story by sharing she has two kids whom she is currently battling for custody over. Her little boy is four, and her little girl is one. Apparently the father of her baby girl is her abuser, and after having her place for two years, she went to stay with him for awhile. He took it upon himself to abuse her several times. DFAX discovering the abuse then sent her to the rescue mission program.
Leaving the mission I spent a solid chunk of time in my Jeep just sitting, listening to worship music and weeping over the day. I was very thankful to attend House of Grace tonight to recharge a bit after such a draining, overwhelming day. I think considering all that took place today made me seriously question whether or not I am skilled enough to be a counselor. I know in my own strength – I am most certainly not – but I even questioned God as to why He would allow me to see things and experience things like this if I was going to feel so helpless in dealing with them. I guess this is where the truth of 2 Corinthians 12:9 comes in, “God’s grace is sufficient and in my WEAKNESS, His strength is made perfect”. None of this is about me, but it sure is being used to grow and stretch me, to refine my thinking, my vision, and perspective.
Loving until it hurts...and still loving. I'm still learning. Wow, what a journey!
When I first arrived at the rescue mission I arrived with the assumption that I would be dealing with younger women but have since discovered we mainly receive a broad range of middle-aged women. I assumed this was the typical standard despite the information I have learned along the course of my being involved with the rescue mission about domestic violence. Domestic violence does not discriminate in any way amongst social class, age, race, or income level. It can happen to anyone. Reflecting on my experience today at the mission, I realize the reality of that statement hit me hard – not necessarily even in the heart. I feel like I was punched in the throat with horrifying information I could hardly swallow.
I noticed we had a new lady with us and she appeared to be significantly younger than the other ladies. Her eyes were dark with a story she seemed unwilling to tell, but she was pleasant as the ladies introduced her to me. Her first question was regarding my age. “How old are you?” she inquired. “Oh, I’m 21.” I replied giggling a little. She seemed intrigued as she replied in a dull tone, “I’m 19.” When I put this together with my initial assumption, I could hardly speak, let alone swallow. My mind immediately wandered to a million possibilities and questions of how in the world this girl ever ended up in a mission as a result of domestic violence. Obviously considering the criteria for entrance into the facility – the situation must have been significant and bad for her to be admitted by a DFAX agency to come here in the first place.
Honestly, I didn’t know what to do with myself at this point. I continued talking with the ladies as she retreated to her room – but I felt helpless, shocked, and emotionally overwhelmed. I guess the harsh reality of domestic violence really sunk in for me today. I have been broken for these women on numerous occasions, and every step of progress causes my heart to rejoice and celebrate, but something about her was different, chilling almost. I felt like it hit too close to home – someone my own age – someone on the brink of adulthood, hurting this badly and I couldn’t do a thing about it. This young lady has her whole life ahead of her, and already she has encountered devastation and demolition on the grounds of her heart she never deserved.
I later discovered a little more of her story – which made it all the more horrifying for me to process. Perhaps it was the way she spoke – with fear and annoyance of being at the mission or perhaps it was her expression of frustration and helplessness considering the situation she is currently in that hit me hard. After an evening session with Dr. Kemper I came to understand that she was raised in a home with two alcoholic parents. She left home when she was fourteen and got married to her boyfriend. She’s worked ever since then earning money and making her own way in this world without any adult supervision, support, or guidance.
Their marriage lasted two years, until he cheated on her at the age of sixteen. She explained that “things simply didn’t work out” so I got divorced just before I turned seventeen. As if this wasn’t enough to comprehend and swallow, she added to her story by sharing she has two kids whom she is currently battling for custody over. Her little boy is four, and her little girl is one. Apparently the father of her baby girl is her abuser, and after having her place for two years, she went to stay with him for awhile. He took it upon himself to abuse her several times. DFAX discovering the abuse then sent her to the rescue mission program.
Leaving the mission I spent a solid chunk of time in my Jeep just sitting, listening to worship music and weeping over the day. I was very thankful to attend House of Grace tonight to recharge a bit after such a draining, overwhelming day. I think considering all that took place today made me seriously question whether or not I am skilled enough to be a counselor. I know in my own strength – I am most certainly not – but I even questioned God as to why He would allow me to see things and experience things like this if I was going to feel so helpless in dealing with them. I guess this is where the truth of 2 Corinthians 12:9 comes in, “God’s grace is sufficient and in my WEAKNESS, His strength is made perfect”. None of this is about me, but it sure is being used to grow and stretch me, to refine my thinking, my vision, and perspective.
Loving until it hurts...and still loving. I'm still learning. Wow, what a journey!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
the nations
"Learn to do good.
Seek justice.
Help the oppressed.
Defend the cause of orphans.
Fight for the rights of widows." - Isaiah 1:17
"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me,
for the Lord has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor.
He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted,
and to proclaim that captives will be released
and prisoners will be freed.
He has sent me to tell those who mourn
that the time of the Lord's favor has come,
and with it, the day of God's anger against their enemies."
-Isaiah 61:1-2
"PRAISE THE LORD, ALL YOU NATIONS.
PRAISE HIM, ALL YOU PEOPLE OF THE EARTH.
FOR HE LOVES US WITH UNFAILING LOVE,
THE LORD'S FAITHFULNESS ENDURES FOREVER. PRAISE THE LORD!" -Psalm 117
Seek justice.
Help the oppressed.
Defend the cause of orphans.
Fight for the rights of widows." - Isaiah 1:17
"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me,
for the Lord has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor.
He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted,
and to proclaim that captives will be released
and prisoners will be freed.
He has sent me to tell those who mourn
that the time of the Lord's favor has come,
and with it, the day of God's anger against their enemies."
-Isaiah 61:1-2
"PRAISE THE LORD, ALL YOU NATIONS.
PRAISE HIM, ALL YOU PEOPLE OF THE EARTH.
FOR HE LOVES US WITH UNFAILING LOVE,
THE LORD'S FAITHFULNESS ENDURES FOREVER. PRAISE THE LORD!" -Psalm 117
carving mr. pumpkin
Last Sunday I decided it was time to carve my lovely pumpkin -- doing so without my sisters joining me was a bit of a stretch -- and I nearly burned the house down in the process when I forgot my seeds were in the oven for an hour. Essentially, on basic terms, the project was a fail - but I enjoyed myself and was able to find it rather therapeutic and relaxing in comparison to a crazy, hectic weekend. Here's a photo documentation of the event.
Step 1: getting the top off,, after carefully slicing a circle around the step.
PUMPKIN SEEDS - MY FAVORITE!!
Step 2: Seed removal - this is always the messy - goupy part, but my favorite.
Step 3: Placing the seeds in a bowl so they may be washed & cooked.
I'm pretty excited to have collected all my seeds.
Step 4a: Cutting Mr. Pumpkin some eyes.
Step 4b: and a mouth
Step 5: Setting Mr. Pumpkin aglow!
Remember...every good carved pumpkin lights up with a candle!
Mr. Pumpkin finally makes it outside to his spot on the porch.
We're pretty excited the carving is all finished!
Step 6: Identifying your pumpkin...this is just a fun thing to do!
My sign held by Mr. Pumpkin greets visitors (which we don't usually get!)
A little Georgia sunshine at the end of a beautiful Sunday of rest!
Unfortunately I burned my pumpkin seeds --- better luck next year!
Step 1: getting the top off,, after carefully slicing a circle around the step. 
PUMPKIN SEEDS - MY FAVORITE!!
Step 2: Seed removal - this is always the messy - goupy part, but my favorite.
Step 3: Placing the seeds in a bowl so they may be washed & cooked.
I'm pretty excited to have collected all my seeds.
Step 4a: Cutting Mr. Pumpkin some eyes.
Step 4b: and a mouth
Step 5: Setting Mr. Pumpkin aglow! 
Remember...every good carved pumpkin lights up with a candle!
Mr. Pumpkin finally makes it outside to his spot on the porch.
We're pretty excited the carving is all finished!
Step 6: Identifying your pumpkin...this is just a fun thing to do!
My sign held by Mr. Pumpkin greets visitors (which we don't usually get!)
A little Georgia sunshine at the end of a beautiful Sunday of rest!
Unfortunately I burned my pumpkin seeds --- better luck next year!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
a heart beat
sleeping slowly
wakened boldly
breathing
searching
hoping
waiting
willing
dreaming
praying
praising
dancing
resting
waiting
hoping
waiting
hoping
praying
resting
revelation
praying
praising
hoping
waiting
waiting
waiting
explanation
searching
understanding
waiting
resting
hoping
praying
joying
PEACE!
wakened boldly
breathing
searching
hoping
waiting
willing
dreaming
praying
praising
dancing
resting
waiting
hoping
waiting
hoping
praying
resting
revelation
praying
praising
hoping
waiting
waiting
waiting
explanation
searching
understanding
waiting
resting
hoping
praying
joying
PEACE!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
world race route
Leaving July 1 --- and not entirely sure where I'm going just yet. Our race route is currently a mystery, but we will be receiving clues one by one as the months go on closer and closer to the trip.
Please check out my world race blog: http://christyzbylut.theworldrace.org
There is information about the race - my life and call into missions - and a place to SUPPORT ME!
Please check out my world race blog: http://christyzbylut.theworldrace.org
There is information about the race - my life and call into missions - and a place to SUPPORT ME!
Friday, October 09, 2009
homeless ministry lessons
Last night I had a unique, first time experience available to me by my own initiative – homeless ministry. Downtown on Poplar Street, an area I frequent Tuesday evenings for the young adult meetings I attend, I found myself – not driving by like I usually do, but parking and getting out to spend time hanging out with people.
I was emotionally a little nervous at first – I found myself somewhat reserved and timid – not sure what to do with myself. There appeared to be no one in charge willing to direct me in what to do – so I sort of awkwardly stood around for a few moments observing the people and park area. This is important because over the last several years of being involved in ministry I have always had someone offering me some sort of instruction – a plan of action – an initiative – a task to complete, but not this time. I was with other people, but felt all by myself.
My thought process was warring between “staying” and “leaving”. I had no clue what to do! I smiled at several people and offered greetings when I noticed a homeless woman walking toward me. She approached me, hugged me, and went on her way. All I could think, was why didn’t I think to hug these people. Here I am, “coming to bless the homeless” and they came more ready and equipped to love on me, than I was to love on them.
This reminded me that with my soon approach mission adventure, I will need to take more initiative in sharing about Christ with others – honestly, I find the idea very terrifying – but we serve a powerful God, and should be terrified of Him – but I think we should be more terrified of not sharing about Him, than of making ourselves UNCOMFORTABLE (there’s that word again) for His glory and purposes!
Several volunteers were cooking hotdogs or talking amongst themselves, but my attention was drawn to the people gathering to share in this meal – those dressed in mismatching clothes, several tote bags or Wal-Mart bags in tow. These people were the ones I’d come to see. I assumed I could come to this outreach night, give some homeless people food and leave – but the longer I stood there not sure what to do, the more I realized how humbling this ministry can be. I can do nothing on my own strength – but with Christ all things are possible.
The Lord provided me some blessed opportunities to speak with several of the homeless men – OC, Lonny, Prince, and Louie – and to sing too! Many of them were easy going and grew up in the area. I wondered what it would be like to live in one place your WHOLE life. That concept is so foreign from my mind and bizarre for me to consider due to moving so much - but I can see how this reality could be both a blessing and a curse for a person. Familiarity is always nice and sometimes safe or comforting, but it can also trap us, and cause us to grow so content, we forget there are other options, opportunities, and challenges to embark upon. Sometimes people may forget to dream because they have settled into what ‘they’ve always known’.
I think this first night of homeless ministry, nerves and all, is the beginning of something beautiful in my life, and Lord willing in the lives of countless others I will encounter and minister to/with along the way. I think I’m in for some serious heart change in this next season!
I was emotionally a little nervous at first – I found myself somewhat reserved and timid – not sure what to do with myself. There appeared to be no one in charge willing to direct me in what to do – so I sort of awkwardly stood around for a few moments observing the people and park area. This is important because over the last several years of being involved in ministry I have always had someone offering me some sort of instruction – a plan of action – an initiative – a task to complete, but not this time. I was with other people, but felt all by myself.
My thought process was warring between “staying” and “leaving”. I had no clue what to do! I smiled at several people and offered greetings when I noticed a homeless woman walking toward me. She approached me, hugged me, and went on her way. All I could think, was why didn’t I think to hug these people. Here I am, “coming to bless the homeless” and they came more ready and equipped to love on me, than I was to love on them.
This reminded me that with my soon approach mission adventure, I will need to take more initiative in sharing about Christ with others – honestly, I find the idea very terrifying – but we serve a powerful God, and should be terrified of Him – but I think we should be more terrified of not sharing about Him, than of making ourselves UNCOMFORTABLE (there’s that word again) for His glory and purposes!
Several volunteers were cooking hotdogs or talking amongst themselves, but my attention was drawn to the people gathering to share in this meal – those dressed in mismatching clothes, several tote bags or Wal-Mart bags in tow. These people were the ones I’d come to see. I assumed I could come to this outreach night, give some homeless people food and leave – but the longer I stood there not sure what to do, the more I realized how humbling this ministry can be. I can do nothing on my own strength – but with Christ all things are possible.
The Lord provided me some blessed opportunities to speak with several of the homeless men – OC, Lonny, Prince, and Louie – and to sing too! Many of them were easy going and grew up in the area. I wondered what it would be like to live in one place your WHOLE life. That concept is so foreign from my mind and bizarre for me to consider due to moving so much - but I can see how this reality could be both a blessing and a curse for a person. Familiarity is always nice and sometimes safe or comforting, but it can also trap us, and cause us to grow so content, we forget there are other options, opportunities, and challenges to embark upon. Sometimes people may forget to dream because they have settled into what ‘they’ve always known’.
I think this first night of homeless ministry, nerves and all, is the beginning of something beautiful in my life, and Lord willing in the lives of countless others I will encounter and minister to/with along the way. I think I’m in for some serious heart change in this next season!
what's new - in pictures
Flying an airplane simulator @ the Aviation Museum on Robins Air Force Base.
Our fall 5k debut - Sharilyn, Erin & I after our walking 5k @ Camp Little Shot
The entrance/waiting area at Grace for All Families - I love the lighting and seating arrangements - I feel like I could sit there all day and read good books!
House of Grace located downtown at the "Warehouse"...
on the corner of...you guessed it, Poplar and Fifth streets.
The big historic, cathedral-like wooden doors are perhaps
my favorite part about the warehouse!
Made homemade macaroni & cheese...I was inspired by a southern life magazine.
Beautiful moonlight driving across town on a Saturday night...the moon was gigantic!!
Current construction of a giant movie screen - this is 1/4 of it!
A deer I stopped to take a picture of the other night - talk about a deer in headlights (or camera flash) --- this little one didn't mind my Jeep hovering near by as I snapped this picture - and was literally a hop, skip, and jump away from my house!
Mrs. Debbie & Mr. Jason - two of the houseparents decided to bless us all with caramel apples. These were delicious - made with homemade caramel & white chocolate drizzled over the top - it was a special treat to come home to after a long day.
Bought my 1st pumpkin ever - outside of a pumpkin patch & without my parents. They were $3.98 at Wal-Mart and I've wanted one for weeks now since they've been in the stores. I felt like a little kid digging in the pumpkin bin, looking for just the right one - and I'm pretty sure I had this sheepish, giggly grin on my face as I skipped around the bins and contemplated which one I wanted to pick as mine.
Smiling with my pumpkin --- in a short time this lovely orange heap will be carved and become delicious crispy pumpkin seeds for me!
Our fall 5k debut - Sharilyn, Erin & I after our walking 5k @ Camp Little Shot
The entrance/waiting area at Grace for All Families - I love the lighting and seating arrangements - I feel like I could sit there all day and read good books!
House of Grace located downtown at the "Warehouse"...
on the corner of...you guessed it, Poplar and Fifth streets.
The big historic, cathedral-like wooden doors are perhaps
my favorite part about the warehouse!
Made homemade macaroni & cheese...I was inspired by a southern life magazine.
Beautiful moonlight driving across town on a Saturday night...the moon was gigantic!!
Current construction of a giant movie screen - this is 1/4 of it!
A deer I stopped to take a picture of the other night - talk about a deer in headlights (or camera flash) --- this little one didn't mind my Jeep hovering near by as I snapped this picture - and was literally a hop, skip, and jump away from my house!
Mrs. Debbie & Mr. Jason - two of the houseparents decided to bless us all with caramel apples. These were delicious - made with homemade caramel & white chocolate drizzled over the top - it was a special treat to come home to after a long day.
Bought my 1st pumpkin ever - outside of a pumpkin patch & without my parents. They were $3.98 at Wal-Mart and I've wanted one for weeks now since they've been in the stores. I felt like a little kid digging in the pumpkin bin, looking for just the right one - and I'm pretty sure I had this sheepish, giggly grin on my face as I skipped around the bins and contemplated which one I wanted to pick as mine.
Smiling with my pumpkin --- in a short time this lovely orange heap will be carved and become delicious crispy pumpkin seeds for me!
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